Page 19 of Waging War
I’ve been with plenty of beautiful women, but I’ve never noticed something as mundane as their fucking kneecaps.
“If you would’ve just moved your ass like I asked, I could’ve fixed it.”
She sputters, reeling for a comeback. “I didn’tneedyour help!”
Moving to stand, I kick the scattered silverware aside. The rush I get when I’m around her is as addictive as gambling once was. She fights me with every word and action, the challenge fiercely calling to me.
“I hate to disagree,” I retort.
Hazel’s eyes fall to where my shirt has risen just above my jeans. Her darkening gaze glides up my body as she analyzes my every move like a predator sizing up her opponent.
She lifts her chin in defiance. “I don’t care what you think.”
I smile the first genuine smile I’ve felt in ages. That fight and fire breathe life into my weary soul, and I greedily seek the comfort of an equal adversary.
“You keep saying that, but I’m starting to believe you care very much what I think,” I say, provoking the alpha in her.
Hazel jerks away, putting cool air between us as she points to the door. “Thanks for the cake, but it’s time for you to leave.”
The rejection is quiet, but it packs a punch.
Right. I’m the last fucking guy who should be here, craving forbidden touches or bringing her gifts.
“What would your boyfriend think of our little interactions, Hazel?”
I don’t like the jealousy in my tone, not one bit. It’s coated in sex, and I wish I was sorry for my attraction to her, but suddenly… I’m not.
“Boyfriend?” But then her eyes widen, and I see the history I’d questioned between them stamped all over her face. “Have you talked to Cooper? Does he know where I am?” She sounds so desperate and hopeful that it’s suffocating.
I turn my back on her, the silverware and drawer forgotten. “No.”
“Wait, Ben.” Hazel’s hand slips around my bicep as she prods further. “Does he… did he say anything about my dad?” She chokes on the last word, and the sound is like a hot iron to my gut.
I should just tell her. I should tell her right now that Kenneth is alive, and we’re going to release her in as little as one more week.
You have your orders.
You have your own set of loyalties to maintain.
You have your own set of people to protect.
Silence aches between us. I open my mouth, but really, what can I say?
“Damn you, Ben.” Tears gather rapidly. The weight of losing her father eats away all the light in her eyes. “Damn every last one of you!”
I back away from her, but she advances until my back hits the wall. Air freezes in my lungs as the pain twists her face.
“Why?” She sobs, stuttering to compose herself. “Don’t you care at all?”
The forceful beat of my heart makes me lightheaded.
Just say it.
Just tell her he’s alive.
But I don’t, and right now, I despise myself more than she ever could. Because the thing is, Idocare. I care entirely too much, and that makes me weak. If I start getting soft now, who knows what might slip through the cracks. I can’t risk destroying what Jackie and I have worked so hard to build.
Not for anyone. Not for her.
