Page 26 of Waging War
“Jack and I didn’t have a pleasant childhood. There weren’t weekends spent with grandparents, baseball in the front yard, or homecooked meals. I’ll spare you the details, but I always felt the need to be the protector. I felt solely responsible for Jack, and even when I fucked it up, I took that job very seriously.”
It’s oddly endearing to hear Ben speak of his little brother in such a way.
“I ended up at Diablo’s door, a desperate young man with nothing to my name but an old, beat-up car and a pocket full of change. I was naïve, impressionable, and angry. But I should have seen through the smoke and mirrors.”
“Why are you telling me this?” My voice goes weak while my heart patters away.
“Because I don’t want your hatred, Hazel.”
Not my heart softening.
“You’re wasting your time trying to befriend me.” I give one last frail attempt at resisting.
I watch his hand move and begin to count my wild heartbeats.
“You asked me what I’m doing here, and all I can come up with is that it’s been too long since someone’s rattled me the way you do.” He reaches for one wrist, then the other, and places both hands over his pecs. “For the first time in a very long time, there’s something stirring in my soul, and my lonely knows you’re lonely, too.”
Gripping the soft material of his shirt between my fingers, my eyelids flutter closed. I’m loath to admit that he’s right. Butdear God, I am dreadfully lonesome.
The tender stroke of Ben’s finger against my cheek produces a blooming inner flame.
This is a terrible idea.
I nearly groan.
But maybe just one little taste…
Everything about this man is a temptation. Tough, wild, and resilient, Ben reminds me of an untamed animal. But tonight, he’s broken, and a piece of me I don’t care to acknowledge wants to offer him a space to lie down. Somewhere he can rest his head and know that at least for the moment, he’s safe.
“I crave that look in your eyes,” he whispers just shy of my lips. “Show it to me again.”
Carried by the adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream, I grip his shirt tighter, now warring with myself. I don’twantto want this, but I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t use a little comfort myself.
Even if that comfort comes with a fresh side of betrayal.
Ben senses my struggle, seemingly watching every emotion crash through my gaze.
My mother always said, “The eyes are the window to the soul,” and right inside the depths of his, I catch sight of something.
It’s a massive clawed beast, and it’s reaching out for me, uttering a sound that has my heart lurching.
More terrifying is when from the deepest, darkest part of me… my own beast responds.
I drop my defenses, closing the distance between our lips swiftly.
The lights go out in my apartment just before our mouths collide.
“What—” he begins, but as if the sane portion of my brain has been screaming at me this entire time, a rush of buzzing builds behind my ears, and I fall into fight-or-flight mode.
Using every ounce of body weight I’ve got, I throw myself into Ben hard enough to shove him backward and spin to wrench the door open.
Shit.There’s next to no light outside, but my body is moving without direction.
Fight, run, survive.
My breaths are choked short as ice-cold rain pelts me on my way down the stairs. My stomach floods with so much adrenaline that I’m sure I’m going to vomit at any moment.
I can’t explain what happened back there, but the only thing that matters is for now, I’m free.
