Page 42 of Waging War
I should be happy to be back at the compound—with my arms slicked in grease and back to helping the guys as usual—but none of this excites me anymore.
Nothing has since the day Ben handcuffed me before claiming my mouth. That little memory has been on repeat, following me wherever I go, day and night.
Pulling my upper body out from under the hood of an old Corolla one of Dad’s friends dropped off this morning, I heave a sigh. It needs a new transmission, but I’ll let him be the one to deliver that news.
“Hey, Haze.” Cooper plants a kiss on my cheek.
I paste a sweet smile on my face to stop from physically recoiling. It’s not that I don’t love Cooper, because I do. It’s just that after I gave him my virginity all those years ago, he fell hard, and I was left confused as to what was so great about having sex.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, noting the humor on my lips.
I lean against the bumper of the car I’d been tinkering with and shake my head. “I’m not sure why, but I was thinking about your nineteenth birthday.”
A broad smile stretches his handsome face as he swipes his hands through a dirty rag. Cooper’s rusty-brown hair is mostly hidden beneath the ball cap he wears backward, and his pale blue eyes fix on mine. Like a gentleman, he doesn’t ogle me.
I hate being ogled, don’t I?
You hate it when it’s not Ben.
Shut up, brain. No one asked you.
“You mean the night I snuck you out of your dad’s house and took you out to Randle Road?”
That was before we built this lot of condos for all the families here. We’ve always been a giving bunch. It’s one of the things that’s always made being with this club feel like home.
Randle Road is where the Wolves built the house I’d told Ben about. We call it The Christy House in honor of one of the first females they ever helped escape a tumultuous relationship. My mom had a hand in furnishing the place and helped get Christy and her son all settled in.
Even though I’ve long since stopped crushing on Coop, thinking of the pasture behind that house makes me blush. “I don’t know what you’re so proud of. It lasted all of ten minutes, and I was picking twigs out of my hair for days.”
Finished with the job, I push off the car and brush past him. My pride and joy sits off to the side of our garage, covered by a thin tarp, and I make a beeline toward her. With all the help Dad’s needed to catch up on work in the office, I haven’t had a chance to officially reacquaint myself with my Harley.
Giddiness zips through my legs at the mere thought of hitting the highway. Maybe I can convince Coop to let me ride just this once.
“Fifteenminutes,” he insists, trailing after me. “And hey, at least I laid a blanket down.”
We share a laugh that’s full of young naivety and small-town wishes. For better or worse, Cooper technically was my first love. Hell, he was my first kiss and my first… everything.
Somewhere along the way, though, I started feeling less and less like a woman or partner in our relationship and more like a possession.
Part of that blame falls on my dad, who practically raised Coop. He puts a lot of pressure on the two of us with his endless list of expectations, and I know Cooper would do just about anything to avoid disappointing him.
In fact, this whole club has babysat us, fed us, and cared for us for most of our lives. Too many times to count, I’ve had the ol’ ladies lined up at our front door with casseroles and pastas to last us weeks—especially after my mom’s passing or any other major life event.
We’re family; it’s just what we do.
“Hey, Coop. Haze.” Lucas, a longtime member, gives us a passing wave.
Sometimes I can hardly believe that the men who’ve been a part of this gang for so long are nearly all ex-convicts. But then, I guess they haven’t been the gang the Wolves once were in a very long time.
Even Cooper’s got his own track record.
“Remember when you jacked that El Camino from the old deputy?” I ask.
He tosses his hands up before elbowing my ribs. “Jeez. You’re rippin’ up some old memories, Haze. What’d I ever do to you, huh?”
“Nothing,” I say with a smile. “I guess I’m just feeling nostalgic.”
He always said he wasn’t good enough for college and that the money he got carjacking was just too tempting.
