Page 3 of Invisible Scars
Sawyer is a lot of things, but irresponsible isn’t one of them. The one organ that always seemed to get in his way is his heart because, for all his faults, that thankfully still beating ticker of his is always in the right place. And now, the place it’s longing to be is with Maddie. It’s all too evident in the broken desperation of his words as he begs the mix of voices to tell him he still has a place to go to, even while they attempt to soothe him, threaten to medicate him, implore him to relax.
I take another deep, stabilizing breath, and walk into the room, some of the heaviness lifting off my chest when I see him wide awake with the headrest slightly raised. All eyes turn to me, and Sawyer lets out a barely audible groan of relief, his gaze panicked and desperate.
“Joe…” His voice is rough, and I can tell he’s trying to get up. But what was once a solid bulk of muscle has softened and thinned during two months of immobility, and his body is betraying him. A feeling I know all too well. “Maddie. They won’t tell me…” His voice breaks, fear of the worst invading his eyes, and I push through the people standing around his bed to place a hand on his shoulder before turning to the medical staff.
“I need five minutes alone with Sawyer.”
Nurse Rita takes a step forward, her eyes pleading. “Jonah, please, there are protocols.” She’s the one who called me. A stout woman in her late forties that took Sawyer under her care when learning from my mom that his own mother doesn’t care enough to come visit him.
“And I promise you, your protocols will be fully met.” I look around the room with a serious yet understanding gaze. “But the alternative to myfive minutesis another bulk of your time wasted on arguing with a patient unwilling to cooperate.” My eyes return to Rita. “Five minutes, Rita, and I promise Sawyer will oblige to whatever you ask of him.”
She stares at me long and hard, then turns to the doctor in charge and nods. Silently, they all clear out and shut the door behind them.
“Maddie’s alive,” I say before he has to ask again. “She went into hiding once you were stable.”
“How long?”
“Almost two months.”
Sawyer squeezes his eyes shut and breathes deep through his nose before exhaling with a wheeze through his mouth.
“I can’t get up. I can’t even lift my hand, Jonah. Forget my entire arm, my hand,” he bites out in frustration. “I need to get out of here. I need to get to Maddie. I need to know she’s safe and alive and okay and hold her and kiss her. Jesus, Joe, she’s all alone out there, and I’m laying here like an idiot, barely able to move my fingers. I need to get to her now!”
His breaths are a labored gasp by the time he’s through, his saturation levels tanking with every constricted inhale, so I reach over to the oxygen tank, turn the knob and press the mask over his face as he repeats the breathing drill from before. I wait for him to stabilize enough so I know he can listen.
“Maddie’s safe. She sent us a message on a Huckleberry Finn novel.” Sawyer’s laughter clouds the plastic mask, the bout prompting a fit of coughs that has all the values on his monitor jumping around like crazy. I wait for it to subside and see his vitals level out before continuing. “I know all you can think of right now is getting to her, but you need to be patient, hang in there, and do what the doctors say in order to get strong again.”
“That’s…funny,” he forces out the strained words and coughs again, and I crack a smile.
“What can I say?” I shrug, checking his saturation on the monitor before removing the mask and shutting the oxygen flow. “It worked on me when you said it. I figured it would probably work on you, too.”
He opens his mouth, and I shake my head.
“Enough,” I order him. His lips clamp shut, and I sigh. “I know you miss the sound of your own voice, Commander, but you’ll talk yourself back into a coma at this rate.” I place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “I’m going to go get the book. Milly, the woman who brought it, will be here tomorrow. In the meantime, promise me you’ll do whatever Rita asks, okay?”
Sawyer nods, then stares at his hand, and I understand what he’s saying without words. I take it in mine, and he moves his fingers against my palm with a miniscule scratch. A promise that aligns with the determination in his dark blue eyes, a vow to regain his strength and find the woman he loves.
There’s a soft knock before the door opens, and Rita pokes her head in. “Your five minutes are up, boys.”
“I was just on my way out.” I give Sawyer’s hand one last squeeze before letting go and exchanging a meaningful gaze with Rita as we pass each other.
Sawyer’s body may still be broken, but that can be fixed. As painful and rigorous as that may be, it’s the easy part. I know from experience that it’s what’s in your head that’s harder to overcome.
The hospital smells invade my nose, overtaking my senses, and the panic bubbles up again. I hurry my steps, eyes fixed forward.
“Joe?” Effie’s hand on my arm breaks me out of my singularly focused march. I turn to look at her, those big blue eyes looking up at me with worry, but all I can see is the lingering heat from our encounter in the parking lot.
“Yes?” I ask, noting Effie’s hand is still on my arm and realizing I don’t want her to drop it.
She takes a step closer. “How’s Sawyer?”
“He only cares about Maddie.” I shrug. “If he could, he’d already be out there looking for her.”
“The rogue has been tamed. Who would have thought?” Effie laughs softly, and I can’t help a small smile at her acute observation. “Are you staying?”
“He’ll be in and out with doctors and tests for the next few hours, and Rita’s here to keep an eye on him.” I shove my hands into my pockets, unwilling to disclose how much I hate being in the hospital and how I can’t get out of here fast enough as I try to outrun the memories that’ll otherwise haunt my night.
“Good,” Effie says, her hand moving from my arm to adjust the strap of her messenger bag. “You can take me home, then.”
