Page 49 of Invisible Scars
I lay still on Jonah’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. We moved to bed hours ago, and I can’t shake the heaviness in my chest. The lost look in his eyes when he arrived at my house and the despair in his voice. I’ve only seen it once before—in the parking lot the night Sawyer woke up. Jonah needed me then, and a part of me made a silent promise to be there for him if he ever needed me again.
And now, hecameto me. How could I turn him down?
Jonah’s hand skims up my back to cup my shoulder, and he kisses my crown.
“Your eyelashes are tickling me every time you blink.”
“Is that why you aren’t sleeping?”
“No.” His fingers squeeze my shoulder. “Thank you for tonight. I needed it.”
“The orgasms?”
“Effie,” he scolds with a chuckle.
“What then?”
“You, saying my name as if I belong here with you.”
Part of me knows that this emotion he’s feeling is a by-product of physical intimacy, but he needs this.Ineed this, the knowledge that my presence eases his pain.
I don’t have the strength to rob either of us of the illusion, not tonight.
“Right now, you do.” My heart flutters at the genuine smile that crinkles at the corners of his eyes.
“That’s enough,” he says before kissing me softly. “Right now is all I need.”
“Then why are you still awake?”
“Why areyoustill awake?”
“I’m processing.”
“Overthinking, you mean?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.
I raise two back at him. “Same as you.”
Jonah’s eyes squeeze shut, and his head slumps back onto the pillow. A few moments of silence pass before he speaks.
“Today was hard for me,” he says. “Telling you things I haven’t talked about in years.”
I catch my bottom lip between my teeth, tears welling in my eyes. “I’m sorry if I pushed you too hard.”
“You always push me too hard. And I wouldn’t have pushed back if I didn’t like it. But today was…”
“Different?”
“Deeper,” he whispers with a ghost of a smile. “Every part of me wants to tell you that we’re done. But we both know that we’ll find an excuse why it’s okay just one more time, and the time after that, and then another time after. We’ll find an excuse every single day.” Jonah sighs again, his dark eyes locking onto mine. “I’m exhausted, Effie. I don’t have it in me to keep fighting it all the time.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “Resistance is futile.”
“Are you going Treky on me, Doll?” He starts moving his thumb over my skin again.
“Some things are beyondStar Wars’ pay grade.” Jonah’s laughter rumbles against my cheek, and I smile. “We have to make rules.”
He scoots lower, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear and cupping my cheek. “Lay ‘em on me.”
“No office sex.” Jonah lets out a protesting grunt. “No officeanything, Jonah. No flirting, no touching, no kissing—Peak Securities is neutral grounds.”
