Page 20 of First Comes Marriage
He stared at her for a moment and she stared back, waiting for him to move. He didn’t.
What on earth was he playing at?
‘Kids, I’m going to my room. Ruqayyah told me that she’s arranged for prayer recitals this evening, so we need to be ready for that.’ Daadi broke through the moment, addressing them as she left to go to her room, a sly smile on her face.
Reshma found her voice once more. ‘Can you please move?’ She ground the words out but kept her voice low.
‘Oh, yeah.’ Zafar stood up and she pulled her dress towards herself before standing up.
Too late, she realised that they were standing very close to one another. So close that if either of them moved just a few inches forward, they would touch. Zafar was looking at her closely, his face a slideshow of various expressions as he regarded her.
He wasn’t an overtly expressive man and she knew that helped him a great deal in his work negotiations. Between them, though, they’d never been in a situation where she’d had to, or felt the need to, read his expressions. One needed a certain level of communication for that, she supposed.
Reshma raised her chin and took a step back, away from him, and then, grabbing the bag with her things in it, she made her way upstairs, deciding to get a head start on getting ready for the gathering later rather than stay downstairs and flog a dead horse with Zafar. She was feeling unsettled enough without trying to figure out what was going on with him.
9
Zafar
Zafar lifted his cupped hands to his face and then moved them down the sides of it as Saleema’s grandmother finished reciting the final prayer, concluding the recital with good wishes and blessings for the couple, their future and everyone else in attendance.
Everyone was congregated in the main villa, with the women on one side of the room and the men on the other side, as was customary for such gatherings. Zafar was sitting beside Shoaib and Khalil, and from where he was sat, he could see Reshma sitting next to Daadi, with Haniya on her other side.
She had her dupatta covering her head as a sign of respect when praying and her head was slightly bowed. Her lips were moving as she prayed and then she lifted her hands to her face like he had. When she moved them away and opened her eyes, they met his.
He watched as her expression, which started off as neutral, slowly changed. Her jaw firmed and her eyes hardened. The corners of her lips turned down a fraction as her chin went up and then she looked away.
Zafar felt his heart sink. He was in deeper shit than he had realised, but as the day had progressed, the extent of the damage was dawning on him. This wasn’t just arun-of-the-mill argument. Nor was it a domestic disagreement or misunderstanding which they’d get over before long. She was upset to the point where she had actually just switched off with him.
It wasn’t anything she’d said or done as such, but he could tell. Though it had only been a day and she’d spent much of it away from him, in the moments they had been together, there was none of the sweetness or warmth from her he had always been on the receiving end of.
After they’d got back from her uncle and aunt’s villa earlier that day, she’d spent her time getting ready for the prayer recital and when he’d gone upstairs and tried talking to her, she’d responded with monosyllabic answers, and after getting ready, she’d gone downstairs, leaving him staring after her. He figured it would be wise to give her some space.
His grandmother had immediately picked up that there was tension between them and when Reshma had left that morning after breakfast, she’d turned to him instantly and demanded he tell her what had happened to upset Reshma.
He hadn’t spilt all the beans, giving her just the bare bones. ‘She’s a bit upset with me because she thinks I don’t want to be here.’ He didn’t tell her that she’d overheard his conversation with his mother or what had happened after that.
‘Oh, Zafar. I hope you reassured her that that wasn’t the case.’
‘I tried.’
‘Sweetheart, you need to give your marriage and her a lot more than you have so far. I can see why she might lose confidence in it.’
His grandmother had gone on to advise him not to model himself on his grandfather as a husband and to make his relationship a priority. And she wasn’t wrong.
For the first time in a long time, Zafar felt like he might be a little lost. As though he had come onto stage with a certain script rehearsed, but it turned out that the play being enacted was a different one. Would he be able to improvise his way through it or would the audience see through him?
He’d mulled over his grandmother’s words, allowing them to percolate in his head before he’d decided to venture out for a walk. He’d needed to be outside and let his mind have free rein.
It wasn’t that he needed his hand held by his father or grandmother or even his best friend when it came to his marriage. He didn’t. He knew things weren’t ideal, but he’d always thought they’d find their way organically. His work had been a priority for the last four years and the intensity of it had consumed him to the point that he hadn’t made the shift he should have when Reshma had become a part of his life.
Was it an excuse? No, it was a statement of fact, but he needed to do something about it. He just needed to figure out what that something was.
Both Murad and Daadi had mentioned simple gestures and Daadi had spoken about forging a connection. How was he supposed to go about those things? Simple gestures were … well, simple enough, but Zafar knew deep down that those alone wouldn’t suddenly get Reshma and him back to where they’d been before she’d overheard that bloody phone call. Before she’d questioned their relationship and before she’d shut down on him.
What would he have suggested to Murad or one of his brothers if they had been in his shoes? Well, he’d suggest they go back to basics. Go out on dates, get to know her, see what makes her tick and take it from there. But he couldn’t do that himself. He was already married to Reshma.
But why not? Maybe he could do that. Maybe that’s what Daadi and Murad had been alluding to.
