Page 85 of From Helsinki with Love
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
Pappa nods approvingly. “How about Westerholm?”
“I don’t want to talk about him right now,” I groan and cross my arms.
“I remember how close you were back in college.”
“Until he accused me of sleeping with his girlfriend because of rumors and almost got me suspended from the team after spreading lies.”
Pappa’s eyes are gentle and understanding as he asks, “Are you sure there wasn’t anything else about that fight?”
“Not that I can tell.”
“What did he say to you before you dropped your gloves?”
“He smack-talked about my shitty play and how he always knew he was a better player,” I grudgingly repeat Westerholm’s words.
“But you have been off your game lately,” Pappa points out, huffing. “I don’t see how that could have triggered you.”
I run my hand through my hair, growing agitated as I mentally return to the fight. “I just had a bad day, okay?”
“You can’t have days like that without it affecting your reputation. That’s why I think that if your behavior these past few months is mentioned in the press again, you should finally come clean about the reasons behind your actions,” Pappa offers.Nois the only answer I can get out, but it doesn’t stop him. “We can agree that you’ve been putting all your hurt and frustration from my accident into fighting.”
“But it’s our private business!”
“It is, but as my accident has affected our family as a whole, it also makes everything your business, too.”
That makes more tears gather in my eyes. “Pappa, I...”
“Just stop being reckless, and we’re even.” He stops me from interrupting him before continuing, “I have to say, I almost booked that damn flight to New York right after that fight. But I’m glad you got your head out of your butt without an ass-whooping.”
We both laugh at that, and my dad turns on the TV. And, of course, a hockey game is on. I have a feeling he knew it was being played at this moment.
“How can I help in the future?” I ask as the team wearing green scores after a minute. “What can I do to make rehab and recovery easier for you?”
Pappa turns to me, his eyes narrowed in thought. “Well, for starters, you could try not getting into fights.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know. But seriously, Pappa. What can I do?”
He takes a deep breath and looks at me with a serious expression. “You really need to start taking your career more seriously. Seeing you succeed makes me feel proud and content, making it easier to hang up my skates. But you’re not where you need to be mentally, and that’s affecting your game. You need to start attending therapy sessions to work through any emotional issues.”
“I’ll do it,” I promise, knowing it won’t be easy. “But I won’t enjoy it at first.”
Pappa smiles, patting my hand. “That’s my boy. The most important thing is to try your best.”
I nod, taking in his words, knowing that he's right. My career is my responsibility, not just for myself but for my family, too. I also know that I've been avoiding therapy for a while, but perhaps it's time to face the music. “That I can do.”
“Good. And remember, I’m here for you too. We can lean on each other. Now and always.”
I blink back tears, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders. “Thanks, Pappa.”
As the game continues to play on the TV, we settle into a comfortable silence, both lost in our own thoughts. Our conversation is a lot to process, but I know deep down that Pappa’s right. I’ve been using fighting as a coping mechanism for far too long, and it’s time to face my emotions head-on.
23
I’M NOT THE ONE WHO’S FAMOUS
JASPER
