Page 14 of The Mountain Man's Curvy Surprisem
I should let her. It would be the best outcome for both of us. After all, what I said earlier is true. She can do better than me.
But my gut nudges me. So does the ache behind my ribs. If she leaves now, I will always regret it.
“Sorry,” I apologize, the words stinging my mouth. I’m not used to admitting when I’m wrong, but there’s no other way. “I can be grumpy as hell sometimes. Especially when something unexpected happens?—”
“Something you don’t want to happen.” She cuts me off with a dazzling smile that contradicts her words.
“That’s not it at all,” I grumble, stepping forward. She smells like roses and honey, and everything good in the world. I wonder if that much goodness might counteract my bad. “Even when things I want show up, I tend to be an asshole about it.” My voice drops at the end, matching my resignation.
“And why’s that?”
Aware we’re not in letter-writing territory, I determine to take advantage of this chance to form a real intimacy with her. One that isn’t tainted by Mack’s charlatan antics. I run a hand through my hair, my stomach a black pit as I realize intimacy requires trust and confiding. I suck in both these areas.
Swallowing loudly, I confess, “Because I grew up in an alcoholic home. Lots of fighting and violence. Verbal, physical, emotional. The only constant was the unpredictability. If that makes sense?”
She nods, licking her bottom lip. My eyes trace the move, simmering with longing.
“I learned young never to count on anything or anyone. Never make future plans. Always expect the worst, and no other possible outcome because hope hurt too much.”
She listens conscientiously, asking, “How do you think those experiences continue to impact you today?”
“Are you sure you’re a personal shopper and stylist and not a psychologist?” I tease. I know about her career from her Mountain Mates profile.
She giggles, shaking her head. The moment feels genuine, heartwarming. I want more moments like this with Callie. I need to make her laugh again.
I reflect for a second before answering, “I tend to be a darker thinker than I should be, a pessimist. And I’m still a shittyplanner. Maybe that’s why I chose the military, because it came with firm regimentation and things laid out for me.”
“Your childhood had to be challenging. I’m sorry you went through that,” she says, her face and voice softening. “I grew up in a two-parent household. My childhood was blessed compared to so many of my friends. I can’t imagine what it was like for you …”
“Pure chaos,” I mutter. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me. I’m telling you because I want you to have a better understanding of who I am and how I operate. And I want you to understand why the unexpected, even the good unexpected, screws with me.”
She nods. “And you’re also telling me because you want to clue me in on things you left out of your letters and emails?”
This again? Is she ever going to let this subject go?
Alarm tightens her features. “Oops,” she says, covering her mouth. “I’m sorry. You specifically said you didn’t want to talk about those again.”
“It’s okay.” I shrug. “Human nature. Tell someone they can’t do something, and it’s all they can think about.” Like me, trying not to stare at her plump lips and fantasize about her taste.
Chapter
Six
CALLIE
“We couldn’t be more different,” I observe, knowing the statement is ridiculously obvious. But I can’t help myself.
“Why do you say that?” Mack asks, eyes dropping to my lips again and again. I can tell he wants to kiss me, and I want the same.
We’ve talked about our first meeting countless times in letters and emails. So, what’s holding him back? My stomach knots, still telling me it involves another woman.
“Want to sit on the porch? There’s nothing like a quiet mountain night in the Sierra Nevada.” His voice has a sudden wistfulness to it that surprises me.
I can’t read this man. One minute grumpy, the next eyeing my lips, and then, speaking in tones I could almost construe as flirtatious, if not romantic.
“If you’re still okay with the original plan of me spending the night here?”
Stiffly, he says, “You mentioned that earlier, too.”
