Page 23 of What We Keep
When I glanced back at Elsa, her cheeks were pink, and she pressed her lips together before she giggled. Her fucking giggle was like a lasso around my heart.
“I know reality TV is ridiculous, but I just love it. I never got to watch TV when I was a kid, so I don’t think the specialness of it will ever wear off. In these shows, their lives are ridiculous. It’s hysterical because it’s nothing like my life, so it’s fun. They’re so dramatic and always arguing over stupid things, and I love it. That’s all.” She let out a happy little sigh.
My lips kicked up on one side, and a chuckle rumbled in my throat. “Hey, if you love it, enjoy it. I’m a fan of that.”
“Of the show?”
“Of you watching a show that you love.”
I wanted to ask her so many questions. Just like before, there was an effervescence to Elsa, probably why I’d crushed on her in high school. Her basic nature was sunshiny and cheerful, with almost an innocence to it. My heart twisted in my chest because I knew life wasn’t always sunshiny. I also knew Elsa understood that.
“Anyway, back to the temporary thing,” she said, her voice softer. “I’m sure you can put the pieces together that moving after my dad passed was hard.” Something passed through her gaze, but she shook her head, almost as if she were tossing the thought away. “And before that, it felt like I was just waiting. My dad was kind of funky.” She paused as if working through the thoughts in real time. “After we moved, it felt like my life was borrowed. I guess that’s how it’s felt since.” Her voice was softer when she spoke again. “And finally, I realized I needed to come back here. I mean, that property is mine, and it’s beautiful. Right?” She nodded to herself, as if I’d questioned it.
“Of course it’s beautiful. Alaska is God’s country.”
A wide smile cracked across her face, and I felt like I’d just given her a present.
“Yes!” she enthused. “It is! I needed to come back because this was the only place that’s ever felt like home to me.” She let out a soft sigh. “But, I mean, this is your family’s place. And you’re being really nice, insisting that I don’t need to pay rent, and blah, blah, blah.” She circled her hand in the air.
Suddenly, the urge to make sure Elsa felt like she belonged howled inside me.
My life hadn’t been perfect. We’d had a painful loss, first with my dad, who I’d adored, and then the fire. But I had always known where I belonged. Belonging was a sense of place. But I understood it as being connected to my family and all we had together.
“In my opinion, you live here, Elsa.”
“Stubborn much?” she teased lightly.
“It’s possible I’ve been accused of that,” I said somberly.
She bit her lip as she smiled at me, then lifted a bowl I hadn’t even noticed she had in her lap. What with her freckled shoulders, her messy bun, her smile, and those eyes I could get lost in? Well, I didn’t catch many other details.
“Do you want some kettle corn?” she asked.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the couch beside her, eating kettle corn. And even more shocking, I got sucked right into the drama of the show.
“She’s a shit-stirrer,” Elsa said at one point, pointing at one of the women on the screen.
“Oh, I can see that. But I think that’s part of the job requirement if you will. I mean, they can’t just have people living healthy, stable lives. They’ve got to have stuff happening.”
Elsa’s messy bun bounced with her enthusiastic nod.
I chuckled again. When I got up and stretched before heading toward my room later, I realized I might have smiled and laughed more since Elsa had been here than I had in years. Even when things were good, even before the fire, I’d had a lot to handle.
Yet again that night, I was deeply aware that Elsa was just on the other side of the wall between our rooms.
So close. Yet so far.
Chapter Twelve
Elsa
My foot bounced where I sat in the waiting room with one leg crossed over my other knee. I was trying not to be nervous, but I was failing. Taking a quick breath, I let it out in a quiet sigh.
You are qualified for this job, Elsa.
The woman at the receptionist’s desk called my name. I stood so quickly I almost lost my balance.
“That’s me.” I practically ran to the desk, catching myself at the last minute and forcing my stride to slow.
