Page 188 of Crown of Briars
Ironic how, now that he couldappearhuman, he feared this would disgust me.
I found myself laughing, then quickly covered my mouth. He blanched, his face paling.
“Shit, is it bad?” He glanced over himself in worry.
I laughed harder. “No, not at all! I—I just can’t believe it. You—You look beautiful, Varius. But… I fell in love with your unseelie form.Thatis the Varius I know.” I closed the distance between us, resting my palms against his chest. His tunic was ripped down the middle, exposing his muscled torso. I dragged my finger between his two pectorals, then looked up at him with a sly smile. He wasso close. If I tilted my face up, our lips would meet.
Perhaps there were benefits to this form after all. I didn’t have to stand on my tiptoes to reach his face, for one. He sighed with contentment and closed his eyes, bringing his forehead to mine. His warmth, his familiar scent, enveloped me. It felt like…home.
Unseelie or seelie, he wasmine. My king. My everything.
“Stones, I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too.”
His mouth crashed into mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him closer, allowing my fingers to thread through his soft hair. He groaned, gripping my waist and bringing me flush against him, his hips grinding along mine. His hands and arms still felt so strong, so sturdy. I feltsafein his grasp.
And he was mine. All mine.
Tislora cleared her throat loudly, and we broke apart. My face was on fire, but Varius was unperturbed as he smirked down at me. His fingers captured a lock of my hair, and he tucked it behind my ear. “We will have plenty of time to explore this new body of mine,dannahla.”
Heat coiled low in my belly from the seductive promise of his words. I caught my lower lip between my teeth, and his eyes tracked the movement.
“For the love of Shade,” Tislora snapped. “Are you two quite finished? Because we have an army to get back to.”
Varius glanced upward, his brows lowering and a muscle feathering in his jaw. All heat fled from my body as I, too,remembered the army that had invaded our home. Was it still there? It was wishful thinking to believe the soldiers would simply turn around now that the Necro Shadows had vanished.
Azure pressed her claws further into the ground and rumbled something low in her throat. I ran to her side, wrapping my arms around her and nuzzling her neck. “I missed you,” I whispered. “And I’m so sorry.”
She moaned something I couldn’t understand. I must have lost my amber necklace in the storm. But I could detect the sorrow in her voice and tightened my embrace.
She knelt, lowering herself so I could climb atop her. I looked at Varius, who faltered, his face full of grief and uncertainty.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He took a step backward, his face pale as he shook his head. “I can’t—I can’t go back.”
I frowned and slid off Azure’s back. “What are you talking about? Of course you can.”
“Sybelle, I—I killed so many people.My ownpeople.” His voice was full of anguish. His eyes crammed shut, his expression crumpling. “I cannot face them.”
“That’s bullshit, Varius,” Tislora snapped. “You weren’t in control.”
“That doesn’t matter!” he shouted. “A king should protect his people! Not tear them apart. I—I shouldn’t have even been there with them. If I had hidden myself away, then perhaps…”
“Then perhaps those foolish humans would have taken the castle,” Tislora said sharply.
My heart twisted at the devastation on his face. This was not something that could be argued away.
This would haunt Varius for the rest of his life. I was sure of it.
I strode toward him, grateful he was still in his seelie form soI could easily clasp his face between my hands. I forced him to meet my gaze and fixed my most fearsome stare on him.
“You are a king, Varius. For good or ill. And the king I fell in love with did not run from his fears. He faced them head-on.”
His eyes filled with tears, but his gaze stayed locked onto mine.
“You made mistakes,” I went on. “Terriblemistakes. Nothing you can do will erase what you’ve done. But youcanmove forward from this. You can make amends as best you can. And you can become a better king for your people.Thatis what they deserve. Not a king who runs from his problems, but a king who will acknowledge his flaws and beg forgiveness. A king who will change for the better.”
