Page 61 of Crown of Briars
“I figured you might be in here,” she said with a wink before easing the tray onto the table next to me. “You never could stay away from the books.”
“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” I bit into a slice of bread, barely restraining a moan of delight at how soft and warm it was.
Ramia’s gaze swept over the endless sea of books. “It certainly is.” She sat in the chair across from me as I devoured the food she’d brought.
When I was finished, she handed me a handkerchief, which I used to dab at my mouth and fingers.
“I have something for you,” she said, and I didn’t like the gleam in her eye.
“What?” I eyed her with suspicion as she dug through the pockets of her dress until she withdrew a small envelope. She handed it to me with a smirk.
Frowning, I turned the envelope over, finding my name written in familiar ink.
“Shit,” I hissed.
“Language,” Ramia snapped. “There’s no need for that.”
I felt my face drain of color as I looked at her in horror. “Why do you have this?”
“I’ve been in correspondence with Kendra,” Ramia said shortly, although her pink cheeks betrayed her embarrassment.
“Ah.” I drew out the word, giving her a knowing look. Kendra was a kitchen maid from the Earthen palace, and I hadgotten the sense that she and Ramia were on more than friendly terms at some point.
“Yes, well, she mentioned the captain would like to get this to you,” Ramia went on, her blush deepening as she gestured to the letter.
I shook my head, looking over the worn envelope with a mixture of dread and confusion. Why would Gerard risk sending me a letter like this? Not only was it very likely that Kendra or someone else would share this information with my father, but what if Varius’s servants had intercepted this? If there was anything incriminating in this letter, I could be executed for treason.
“Gerard, you fool,” I muttered, running my fingers over the crinkled paper. I couldn’t deny the fresh wave of longing that coursed over me, though. It wasn’t Gerard I yearned for, but news of my home. I missed it terribly, and the comfort of that familiarity called to me.
Not to mention the fears and anxieties that kept me on edge often had me yearning for that sweet physical release that Gerard gave me. Here, there was no remedy. Not unless I wanted to invite Varius into my bed.
Which wouldnotbe happening.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Ramia said softly, gathering up the tray and bustling out of the room. I continued to stare at the letter in my hand, trying to gather the courage to open it.
With a deep breath, I broke the seal and read Gerard’s message.
My Lady,
I yearn for you. Every moment since you left has been torture for me. Please send word that you are safe. I am going mad not knowing. Imiss having you to hold in my arms. I miss the way our bodies fit together.
There is no one like you. And there never will be.
I had to stop reading to close my eyes against the torrent of guilt and anguish. My relationship with Gerard had been casual; a way to escape and release pent-up tension. We had both established this, knowing our dalliances would have to end once the Shadow King came for me. How could Gerard be saying these things to me, knowing I was now married?
Swallowing down my discomfort, I forced myself to keep reading.
But that is not the only reason I write to you. I must also ask if the endeavor we discussed previously has been accomplished yet. If it has, please send word immediately. Our armies intend to cross the border and invade the kingdom if it’s clear you have been unsuccessful.
My heart dropped to my stomach, and I re-read the paragraph once more.
Invade the kingdom…
“Father, you cannot be serious,” I whispered. How would invading possibly help? The Shadow Court’s forces were far more powerful than ours. If I was unsuccessful, it would either be because I got caught, or because killing Varius and destroying the source of his magic did nothing to stop the shadows. And if the shadows could survive without Varius, then we werealldoomed.
Heart racing, I skimmed the rest of Gerard’s letter.
I am risking my life by sending this to you, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because I did not warn you. I am in love with you, my darling, and I would give anything to have you in my arms once more.
