Page 130 of Knot All is Crystal
This question feels like a trick, so I wait him out. Eventually, he continues talking, as if I’m not here. “There was a Beta woman who caught my attention. But, unfortunately, she had a drug problem. Now, I had plenty of drugs, so for a while we were a great pair. But then she tried to fucking trap me. She got pregnant.” His voice is dripping in venom, and unease prickles in the back of my mind. “Of course, I couldn’t let that happen. I gave her cash and told her to take care of the problem and that I never wanted to see her again.”
He spins to look at me, eyes wild. “She did it on purpose, of course. Why wouldn’t she? I could’ve given her a perfect life. But why would I saddle myself with a drug addict that already had a kid from some other asshole? I didn’t want anything to do with her.” Kieran shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest, composure regained. “Of course, my team threatened her whenever she tried to come near me again, and eventually she stopped. I heard she overdosed several years later from one of my dealers. A terribly tragic story.”
My rational mind knows this story. Knows how this conversation is going to end.
But my rational mind took a fucking backseat and I am letting denial captain this ship.
“Imagine my surprise to find out she never went through with the abortion, and the drugs she used didn’t kill the baby in the womb. Imagine my surprise when I find out I have a son.”
A son.
A son.
A son.
Denial is not just a river, it’s rapids, trying to wipe this conversation from my mind.
“And then to find out I have a son because he is involved with my Omega, my Queen?” He clicks his tongue and squats in front of me. I try to avoid his gaze, but he grabs my chin and wrenches it forward.
This close, I can see the resemblance. The bump on my nose came from him. Our cheekbones are a matched set. Even the shape of my lips. His teeth aren’t crowded like mine, but he probably had a family that got him braces while I was dealing with a drug addicted mom and foster care.
“I wish we could have had a father-son relationship, Gage. I do. But I was never meant to be a father. However,” he drops my face and stands up. “Since you are my child, I’ll make sure Puck goes easy on you.”
“Easy on me?” The words slip out before I can think to stop them.
“You must understand why I can’t let you leave this room,” he says gently. “Even though you’re my son, you touched what belongs to me.”
Throughout my life, I have wondered who my father is.
I knew the chances were slim, but a few times I had fantasies about him being a successful businessman who didn’t know I existed and would come and rescue me, taking me under his wing and giving me a better life.
But no, my father is a mob kingpin. A successful businessman who didn’t know I existed.
The worst of both worlds.
“You’re a fucking coward,” I sneer. “I grew up alone, with a mom who was broken because of you. Because you abandoned her and left her alone, and now you can’t even get rid of me yourself?” I laugh, but it’s hollow. “You like to pretend it’s because you’re benevolent, taking it easy on me, but you’re just chickenshit.”
Puck glares at me, but I can’t stop. All of the pain and anger I’ve stored up for my absent father come tumbling out.
“She was high my whole childhood, and when she wasn’t, she was out of her mind. When she died, I was bounced from foster home to foster home. I made something of myself out of nothing. I was a fucking street urchin, and I made a life for myself. And you want to take it away because I found someone to spend it with?” I laugh, and it’s breathy and wild, mirroring the wild thumping of my heart. “You know she would never choose you in a million years, so you’re taking away her options, right?”
He takes a few slow steps towards me, fists clenching. The fact that I’m getting to him emboldens me.
“You’re pathetic. A pathetic coward.” I can’t say anything else because his fist connects with my nose, and it cracks loudly. Blood pours out of me. Despite the pain, I laugh. When I lock eyes with my father, he looks unhinged. I’m seeing the monster behind the indifferent mask now.
“I can’t believe you’re my father. I’m fucking glad you never found me.”
Another blow, this time to my jaw, busting my lip, lands, and I’m starting to regret mouthing off to this asshole.
He inhales deeply, slicking his hair back, unconcerned about my blood on his white dress shirt. In fact, he rubs his knuckles against his shirt, further smearing the red liquid across his stomach. “Puck, take out the fucking trash.”
And he walks out of the door, and hopefully, my life.
“Are you a fucking moron?” Puck snarls, crowding me. “I told you to stay quiet.”
“I was supposed to not react to the revelation that he’s my fuckingfather?” I roll my eyes. “Not likely. Did you know?” It hurts to talk. A bruise is already forming on my jaw, and my blood is dripping down my face from my nose at a maddening pace. “Did you know?”
“I didn’t,” Puck answers, and I actually believe him. “But knowing that means he’s probably going to be a lot more thorough in making sure I get rid of you. I don’t know what we’re going to fucking do. You may have to stay here until I take care of Kieran.”
