Page 37 of Knot All is Crystal
He slowly lowers himself onto the chair across from me and reaches across the tabletop to take my hand. I pull his wrist to my nose immediately. I can’t help myself.
“You don’t know me,” I begin, unable to make eye contact with him, “but I’m not going to be good for you. I’m bad luck.” I inhale deeply against the base of his wrist again, the smell of sweet vanilla custard and slightly burnt sugar enough to make me want to lick his skin. “But you smell like crème brûlée. It was the dish that allowed me to graduate from the Omega Academy and let me pursue my passion. If I had botched it even a little, they would’ve found a way to keep me there for at least another semester, hoping my scent matches would come to a social.”
I look up, and he’s got his head tilted curiously to the side, with a soft smile on his lips. His eyes are red around the edges, crinkled at the sides, but not in humor.
“Do you wanna know something funny?” I steamroll on without him speaking. “Crème brûlée isn’t about your skill as a chef. It’s about letting the ingredients shine. I scrimped and saved for three months to afford the best vanilla beans I could find to wow the instructors.”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever had crème brûlée,” he says, spinning his hand around until our fingers are clasped. “It’s vanilla based?”
“It’s a vanilla custard that has to setjust right, and then you top it with raw sugar and hit it with a culinary torch until it’s just under burnt. It’s incredible.” I finally make eye contact, falling into dark brown depths that I know must hide a world of pain and hopelessness if he ended up here. “You smell incredible.”
“Forgive me,” he begins, squeezing my hand, “then why don’t you seem happy? Am I – do you not want to get to know me?”
“I am happy, it’s just that…”
It’s just that I’m trapped working for a madman.
It’s just that being with me could get you killed.
It’s just that I’m not meant to have a normal life.
“It’s just that you’re my patient, technically.”
It’s not a lie. Forgetting that if Walter knew, he could hold it over my head or report back to Kieran. Although I am not his doctor, I am still part of the research team supporting his gene therapy treatment.
“I’m sure there must be a precedent for this?” An edge of desperation has crept into his voice. “We should be allowed to get to know one another.”
“My…” Icarus and Jordan pop into my head, and I smile softly. “There may be something we can do.”
And maybe it’s selfish.
Scratch that. It’s super fucking selfish.
But I’ve already lost the chance to get to know Maverick because he showed up at Prism.
Maybe I could know Emmanuel and keep it a secret. To protect him.
So much of my life is bleak. Don’t I deserve a little light?
And fuck, Emmanuel seems like light. He looks like someone who would hold me while I sob and tell me it’ll all be okay, but then immediately help me devise a plan to solve the issue that made me cry in the first place.
I deserve a small glimmer of hope in the form of an Alpha with sad eyes.
I slide my phone across the table. “Can I have your number? I have a colleague who should have some ideas.”
* * *
Doctor Icarus Knightgrins when I poke my head into his office.
“I trust your new Alpha came to speak to you? I hope you don’t mind that I guided him to you.”
Dr. Knight met his Omega in this very office over four years ago when she was his patient. If I recall correctly, they moved in together immediately. She had been a Beta with a repressed Omega gene, and the sudden exposure to her Alpha’s pheromones triggered her presentation.
She volunteered to be monitored regularly as Icarus continued his Omega gene study, hoping to identify more Omegas trapped in Beta bodies. While they still haven’t determined the why behind the suppressed gene, they have confirmed that exposure to high doses of scent matched pheromones will activate it. Icarus has been working on a way to utilize synthetic pheromones in hopes of saving others the pain his Omega went through.
I’m excited to see where it ends up.
“I don’t mind. I know how you feel about scent matches. I’m just glad it was you and not Walter.”
