Page 73 of Knot All is Crystal
This has all become very serious very quickly. I’m putting them all in danger, and for what? Gage and I don’t have this magical pheromone draw to each other like I have with the Alphas, and he may decide quickly that I’m not worth the effort when he learns about all of the shit I’m involved in.
I’m suddenly feeling very claustrophobic.
What is going on with me?
I went from being adamant about never having or wanting a pack and rejecting and lying to Maverick to inviting three men into my home and preparing to start developing relationships with them.
Selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
I push back from the table, interrupting whatever conversation the guys are having, and nearly run out of the room to pile into my nest. They won’t come in here unless invited - I know that much. And maybe here, in my safe place, I can start to understand why my Omega nature is going so haywire.
I need to think about the facts.
Fact one: Maverick and Emmanuel are my scent matches.
Fact two: Maverick knows most of the truth about Prism. Or at least, the risk part of it, and he’s okay with it.
Fact three: I feel a connection I never could’ve expected with Gage, but it would be wiser to let him go entirely.
But I hate that I have had so many choices taken away over the years. I hate having to put my life in someone else’s hands, regardless of what I want.
I can’t take Emmanuel’s and Gage’s choice from them.
If Gage still wants to pursue me and see if he wants to be part of this pack despite everything, shouldn’t I let him?
“Hey, Crys,” Gage’s voice comes from the doorway of my nest. When I look up, I notice it’s just him standing there. Neither of the Alphas came with him.
“Sorry about that,” I say quietly, hiding my body behind a cherry-red pillow. “I had a little freakout.”
“That was the most respectful freakout I’ve ever seen. Did I ever tell you about the woman who came in throwing a fit because I tattooed her kid?”
The tension in my shoulders loosens at just the sound of his voice. It’s always been like this. I’ve gone into his shop in a broken stupor, close to ending it all, and he’s brought me back from the brink.
“No, you didn’t. What happened?”
“Her kid was twenty-two.”
I snort in amusement. “Can you… Can you get the others? I have to tell you all something.”
TWENTY-SIX
With all threemen in my nest, it feels crowded butright.
Having them come in here was the right call.
I open my mouth and snap it shut several times, trying to figure out how to start this conversation. Eventually, I clamor to my feet, unbutton my pants, and begin to slide them down my hips.
“Woah, is it that kind of party?” Maverick asks, holding my hips. “I mean, I’m not opposed to it, but Manny here doesn’t seem like the type to throw caution to the wind with an impromptu orgy.”
Emmanuel huffs but doesn’t disagree.
“No, it’s not that, it’s-”
“Your tattoos,” Gage interrupts. “This has to do with your tattoos, doesn’t it?”
