Page 85 of Knot All is Crystal
Win wrinklestheir nose at me as I walk through the door.
“What?” I ask, looking down my body. My clothes are clean, the black band T-shirt is slightly wrinkled, but no worse for wear.
“You smell like happy,” they say with a snort of a laugh. “Like it’s oozing out of your pores.”
“The word ooze is gross,” I respond as I push past them. “But I am happy, yeah.”
“It’s the Omega, isn’t it?” When I spin around to look at them, they have a smug smile. Win is tall and willowy, with the strangest Alpha energy I’ve ever encountered. They’re always dressed in a way that screams ‘art school dropout,’ and today is no exception, with a getup that looks like various pieces of gauze wrapped around them. “Crystal.”
“What makes you say that?”
They tap the side of their nose. “I smell her pheromones. Sweet, but nothing specific.”
“So it worked out, then?” Trina’s voice fills the room as she exits her office and kisses Win’s cheek. “You took her out?”
“I…” I chew on my lip as I make my way to my station, unsure how much to tell them. Eventually, I decide to go for broke and pour out the mess of my feelings on the floor.
“Well, we were texting and everything, and then I find out she has recently met two Alphas, and she wanted me to meet them because she didn’t want to cut us off at the knees, ya know? And it’s be disrespectful to proceed with anything without talking to them, so she invites me over for dinner and I meet them, and it turns out one of them is Emmanuel – yes, that Emmanuel, Trina – and the other is fucking Manic Mav. And anyway, it all feels very serious very fast but also like it’s the right thing, and basically, I’m freaking out because I’m fucking young, ya know, and she’s an Omega, and what does she need me for and-”
“Woahhhh there,” Trina says as she pulls me to her chest. “Breathe, Gage. That’s a whole lot more than I was expecting.”
“You’re telling me.” I slump into her arms and sigh softly. “Am I crazy for not wanting to take this slow? For wanting to go all in?”
“I mean, it’s a little insta-lovey,” Win says dismissively. “I know some people don’t believe in it, but I happen to enjoy it. Love at first sight or scent? How romantic.”
“It’s not first sight, though, is it? I mean, I’ve known her for four years.”
“Exactly,” Trina agrees. “Does it feel wrong, or is it scary?” she asks me.
I take a moment to let that question roll over me. There’s never been a moment with Crystal that has felt wrong. Fuck, even Maverick feels inevitable in a way.
And that’s not even touching on how much Emmanuel has always meant to me.
“It’s scary,” I answer quietly, with no doubt in my mind. “It’s fucking terrifying.”
“You didn’t take me for a coward.” Trina crosses her arms over her chest, the red and white checkered dress bunching up with the motion.
“I know. I had this conversation with Crystal about how she was worried this was moving too fast, but then the moment I was away from her, I started to second-guess myself. Why is that?”
Win floats down on a stool and crosses one ankle over the other. “If I had to guess, your rational brain takes a backseat to your emotional one when you’re with her. Then, when you’re apart, you’re suddenly digging into it with too much logic. Love isn’t logic.”
“Who said this is love?” The word makes my stomach clench, and I find myself looking anywhere and everywhere but at Win.
“Pssh. Don’t even try, Gage. Our society has been built on pheromones. Alphas and Omegas are drawn towards one another with pack bonds and scents. And Betas are left out of it. Who researches on Betas? Who studies them? Look online, and you will find many stories of people saying that Betas have special bonds they can form with Alphas and Omegas.” They give Trina a smile that makes me feel like I am intruding on something. “So you can try to convince yourself all you want that you’re moving too fast or your feelings don’t make sense, but you know better. Love isn’t logic. It is irrational and uncontrollable. And what is more irrational than you diving headfirst into a pack with the woman whose story you’ve held in your hands? Those tattoos? We all know that’s not cosmetic.”
Of course, I know that now, but I won’t reveal that to Win and Trina. I can’t. Win continues.
“Those tattoos are her pure truth. And you’ve taken something that could’ve been ugly and painful and made it into a beautiful piece of art. Maybe others won’t understand you going all in right away. But they don’t have your eyes. Just because they can’t see the beauty, why try to convince yourself it isn’t there?”
THIRTY-ONE
I knockon the door to Kieran’s office, my heart in my throat.
It’s my first time seeing him since Puck told me the truth about everything, and I don’t know how I will keep it together.
How will I sit here and take what he’s planning on throwing at me now that I know everything I do?
A small part of me hopes Puck is lying, which is absolutely bonkers. Why would I hope that I do have a debt to be repaid?
