Page 96 of Knot All is Crystal
I always get a little concerned when my sleep needs start to decline. Lack of sleep can sometimes trigger a manic episode in me, so I have a med I can take that will force me into a solid twelve hours of sleep in hopes of pulling me back from it. But I don’t like to take it. It makes me groggy, and I want to be present for Crystal.
Right now, I can feel the little gremlin under my skin that makes me move fast, talk fast, and think fast. I’m not manic—I know that for sure—but I can feel that if I don’t take better care of myself, I could end up that way.
“Smells good.” Emmanuel’s soft voice comes from behind me.
When he snapped at me yesterday, it felt like I was about to fall apart. He doesn’t know how sensitive I am to rejection, so it wasn’t like he did it on purpose, but I couldn’t shut my stupid, broken brain up at that moment.
It whispered vile lies about how I don’t deserve Crystal, how happiness isn’t possible for someone like me, and that no one wants to be in a relationship with a crazy person.
I know they’re lies.
But tell that to my rejection-sensitive dysphoria.
“It’s just eggs,” I say dismissively.
“It’s also pancakes, sausage, and… French toast?” He looks at me curiously. “How long have you been awake?”
It’s nine a.m., which is, admittedly, early for anyone to be up after our late night.
“Just a little while,” I deflect.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Maverick, are you taking care of yourself?”
“Ugh, yes, Dad,” I groan, turning my back to him. “Sometimes I can’t sleep, okay? I bounce between not being able to sleep and sleeping too much, and with Crystal’s work schedule, my routine has gotten a little messed up. I’m adjusting. It’ll take some time.”
I hear a chair squeak on the tile floor behind me. “How can we help you?”
A lot of people write me off when they find out I’m bipolar. It’s pretty refreshing that Manny hasn’t. But I guess in living with chronic pain, he gets what it’s like having to make adjustments others may not understand to keep yourself healthy.
“I don’t need anything yet, but I’ll let you know, yeah?” I clear the emotion out of my throat. “Hungry?”
“Sure.”
I look up to Emmanuel, and not just because he’s so tall. He’s such a soothing spirit and so level-headed. I wish I could approach things as diplomatically as he seems to be able to. I also appreciate that he’s willing to let the previous conversation drop. He trusts I’ve got it and will ask for help when needed.
The other Alpha sits at the loaded table and grabs a plate, beginning to serve himself. “I don’t think Gage will be able to eat most of this,” he begins.
“It’s all gluten-free,” I interrupt. “I took the liberty of stocking the place with celiac-friendly options. I even replaced the toaster.” I wave my hand dismissively. “Because of the crumbs and all.” Emmanuel looks at me like he’s never seen me before, his mouth a little slack. “What?”
“That’s really thoughtful, Maverick.”
I snort and turn my face to hide my blush. “Anyone would do it.”
“No, they wouldn’t.” Gage’s voice drifts over to me from the door of the nest. He takes a couple of steps into the room. “None of my foster parents cared enough. I was on my own, constantly flaring up. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”
The blush warming my cheeks gets out of control, and I duck away from his attention. It stirs something in me that’s new that I can’t put into words. “Welcome,” I mutter softly, grabbing the toast from the toaster and buttering it before sliding the stacked plate and platter of eggs onto the table. “I’m gonna wake up Crystal.”
“No need,” she groans as she exits the bathroom. “I’m up.”
In the light of day, her neck looks worse. Fury roils within me, and I have to hold myself back from lunging towards her and pulling her into my arms.
“How are you feeling?” Gage asks her, pulling out the chair beside him.
“Worse.” She says it casually, like she’s telling us the weather. “I will have to cancel on my sister and niece tomorrow. Makeup is enough to hide this in the low light of Prism, but it won’t stand up to their scrutiny in the daytime.” Weariness pulls the corner of her mouth down. “Hannah is going to be so sad.”
“Well, if you’re being tailed, it may not be a bad idea to avoid them for a bit in general,” Emmanuel muses. It’s true, but not helpful because Crystal’s face nearly collapses in grief.
“You’re right. Fuck, I hate Kieran Cobb.” She takes a small bite of toast, and I puff my chest out a little. Feeding my Omega makes my Alpha instincts preen. We haven’t had a regular courtship, but this helps satisfy those urges.
