Page 104 of One for the Money
I know he’s not wrong. And I don’t want to stand in the way of his happiness. We don’t need any more resentment between the two of us.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” I tell him softly. “And I’m sorry I didn’t realize how important this was to you earlier. But that resentment wasn’t just from Alex. You went back to childhood, dude.”
An embarrassed flush creeps up his ears. He takes another long swig of his beer instead of answering me right away. “You never noticed?” he asks softly. “The way everything always defaulted to what you wanted, what you needed?”
I try to think back to our childhood, before everything went to shit. I don’t go back there very often, afraid of finding good memories with my father, but for Dario, I’ll try.
“I mean, I noticed that we always did what I suggested,but I thought that it was because that’s what you wanted, too.”
“Sometimes,” he admits. “But also, mom told me I needed to always look out for you, so I did. If you wanted or needed something, I made sure you got it. Most of the time, it wasn’t a big deal. Our interests have always been mostly aligned. So when Alex came and you were so adamant against her, I felt betrayed. Like I’ve done so much for you, and you didn’t even want to try to get along with her for me.”
Draining my beer does little to calm the guilt churning in my stomach. How have I never noticed that I was guiding everything in our lives? The twin that everything was shaped around?
Dario showed an interest in Alex from day one, and for what felt like the first time, we were misaligned. I didn’t stop to look at that critically, to determine why it seemed like our desires were incongruent with one another.
I just told him he was wrong.
I blew him off.
It didn’t feel good to be on the receiving end of his anger during RutGate, but fuck, maybe it’s a good thing it happened, because I think he may have continued to suffer in silence if it hadn’t.
“You don’t have to agree with me on everything. We’re twins, but we’re not the same person.” I reach over and grab his hand. “You need to tell me these kinds of things before they get to that point.”
He scoffs, but doesn’t pull his hand from mine. “And what, you would have taken me seriously? You’re so blinded by hate because of what Dad did that you wouldn’t even consider getting to know her. Have you even talked to her today?”
“Have you?” I shoot back.
“I’m not the one who fucked her and then scrambled away like my knot was on fire,” he chastises. “None of us handled that situation well, but I saw the hurt in her eyes when you pulled away from her.”
Showering this morning was a sobering experience. I smelled like her. I had to scrub and scrub to get the scent of her slick off of me. As it washed down the drain, I realized it might be the only time I have that experience with her, and I couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or bad.
“I’ll talk to her,” I insist. “I just need some time to come to terms with everything. This is a shit ton of change for me.”
“It’s a lot for all of us. Most of all, Alex. She escaped abuse and almost immediately got attacked, and then scent matched with us, told she’s needed to cure Quinton’s Rot, and then, oh look, she’s now a Foresaken Omega, and she has to be around us to get better, and then her nest is destroyed and she has a heat flash and bonds Matteo and then we all go into a rut and she takes your virginity and walks home alone.” He gestures in the vague direction of her trailer. “We’ve fucked this up every step of the way.”
I look out the window, sighing heavily. “So what, am I supposed to bury all of my fears and worries and throw myself headfirst into a bond with her?”
“No,” he snaps. “You know that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying … take her on a date. Get to know Alex as a person, not as an Omega. What’s the harm in trying?”
The harm? What if I fall for her and she leaves?
Or worse, what if she stays?
But I don’t voice those fears to Dario. Instead, I nod solemnly.
“I’ll try, yeah. Not just for her and me, but for you. I owe you that much.”
“You don’t owe me anything.” He pulls me in for atight hug. “I’m still really fucking sorry it all came out like that, instead of in a rational, heart-to-heart kind of way.”
“Would you have ever said anything if you weren’t under the influence of a rut?” I hold him at arm’s length, narrowing my eyes. “Do you really hate the blond hair?”
“So fucking much.”
Chapter 40
Unknown
How’d you like the present I left, bitch?
