Page 58 of One for the Money

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I close and lock the door to my home, shoving a chair underneath the handle in a makeshift barricade.

It may not be enough to keep out all Alphas, but at least it gives me an early warning system. I think I can fit out of one of the windows in a pinch.

Immediately, I dig through my bag and find my suppressants and pop three in my mouth. I’m not supposed to take so many, but I need them to work fast. I can stay locked in here for forty-eight hours until they kick in again.

Never again will I allow myself to be trapped by something as insignificant as the way someone smells.

I refuse to let scent control me again..

But it’s not like ignoring my instincts is easy.

Every part of my body revolts at the idea that I may not smell them again. That these sweet, carnival-scented men are mine, and I can’t deny it.

There is no choice for me but to move forward without this albatross over my head.

As I prepare to rinse the lingering scents of these men off of me, knowing I will never smell them again, I give in and allow myself one minute.

Sixty seconds.

To smell them on my shirt, to remember what it was like to be surrounded by them.

To imagine the life we could’ve had if I weren’t so fucking damaged.

Because I’ll never get to experience this again.

They’re my scent matches. It’s so fucking frustratingly clear.

Thirty seconds.

But a scent match doesn’t mean anything.

Doesn’t mean they’ll take care of me.

Doesn’t mean they’ll respect me.

Twenty seconds.

A scent match lures you in with the promise of safety, but that’s not what you get.

It traps you. Locks you to someone for eternity.

Ten seconds.

And I’m not going to be tied to anyone.

I’m my own person.

I step into the hot water and wash them away.

Chapter 21

I have feltuntethered since yesterday. Since I realized that the doctor I hired, not knowing she was an Omega, is my Omega.

My scent match.

Who wants nothing to do with me.

I get that it’s not personal. She’s got heavy trauma that dictates her reaction to Alphas. But it still hurts to know that she doesn’t trust me.

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