Page 94 of One for the Money
And now I’m staring at four Alphas all on the verge of a rut.
Fuck.
Chapter 35
Why doesno one take me seriously?
There seems to be this pervasive idea that because I’m smiley and light-hearted, nothing fazes me. That I don’t care how things turn out, I’m along for the ride.
I do care.
It’s why I’m so fucking furious that no one is listening to me about being the next to take Alex on a date. Why shouldn’t it be me? She and I connected when she was in the shower. I want to continue nurturing that budding bond.
I want her to see everything I have to offer her as her Alpha—a safe place to land, a comfort, and a friend.
And I’ve got a great fucking idea for a date. I’m going to take her to the goddamn spa. She’s had such a hard go of things, predating arriving here, and she deserves to be pampered and to relax.
We don’t make a ton of money doing what we do, obviously. Circus shit is for the love of it. But I’ve got enough put aside that I can dig into. It’ll be more thanworth it to see what she looks like when she’s calm and relaxed.
Quinton is yelling at Jude, both of them so fucking furious that they can’t see straight, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t feel much better off than they look. And when Dexter stops me from sneaking out to go to her, it may be the final straw that breaks my back.
“Of course, I said I’d try! What does that have anything to do with you going over there and begging for her bite?”
“Because you’re fucking selfish! You say that you’re going to try, but you’re stopping me from going over there and developing a relationship with her. With our Omega! You can spit the words all you want, but it’s clear you don’t really want me to win her over or you’d let me do this!” I shove my brother’s chest, and he stumbles backward, eyes wide in shock.
I’ve never put my hands on him, not like this.
“Dario,” he hisses, eyes narrowed. “I love you, brother, but don’t fucking push me.”
I shove him again.
“Why not, huh? You like to torture yourself, right? That’s why you’re ignoring the pull Alex has on you. Because you think you deserve to suffer for some unknown fucking reason! Some misguided notion that if you pretend all Omegas are dangerous pieces of shit like Dad, you’ll be safer? Safer from what? Joy? Love? Affection?” Sweat beads on my brow, and I can tell my heart rate has increased dramatically.
If I had my wits about me, I’d probably start making connections and figuring out what is happening, but I don’t, so I keep pushing.
“You love to blame it on Dad, saying that because he was a violent Omega, that means none can be trusted. Butit’s not Dad holding you back. It’s you. You’re too fucking chickenshit to be vulnerable in front of someone.”
Matteo’s voice rises above the din of Jude and Quinton’s argument. “You don’t mean that, Dario. Maybe stop for a moment and think about what you’re saying. Dex is your brother, and you love him.”
“I do believe it!” I snap. “I have done everything for you, Dex. For our entire lives, I have protected you and looked out for you. Put you first. And the one thing, theone thing, I want, you’re bound and determined to keep from me. I am going to lose her, and it’ll be your fault. And I will never forgive you.”
Dexter cracks, the anger I saw simmering beneath the surface breaking into pieces and leaving tears in its wake.
And still, I can’t stop.
Why can’t I stop?
“How do you think this is going to end? That we’re just going to wave goodbye at the end of her contract and let her run off to be found by that cunt that abused her? Did you really think we would just let her go? What was your plan, Dex? To hope all of us pick you over her?”
He finally speaks, his voice shaky and bruised. “Is it too much to ask that my brother pick me over an Omega he barely knows?”
“I pick you over everything!” I roar, lunging for him. “Everything!” My body makes contact with his, and we fall to the floor of the trailer. He lies limp beneath me, no fight within him, as I pin him to the ground. “I fucking hate having blond hair! And yet I do it for you because you don’t want to see our father every time you look at me. I have accommodated your fears and trauma despite you doing nothing to fix them. And now here I am, expected to accommodate you once more. When is it my turn?”
My body is vibrating, and my vision is cloudy aroundthe edges. I’m vaguely aware of Quinton and Jude exchanging blows on the other side of the trailer, and Matteo screaming at them to stop.
That seems like a great idea right now, actually. Maybe I’ll feel better if I smash Dexter’s nose in with my fist. Then perhaps I’ll feel normal again.
“I never asked you to baby me!” my brother snaps, finally pushing me away and scrambling away from me. “I’m autistic, not an infant. I never asked you to give up shit for me.”
