Page 1 of A Very Crumbleton Christmas
PROLOGUE
CRUMBLETON TIMES AND ECHO - 18TH DECEMBER
What’s on This Week (we hope)
Christmas Lights Switch On. Date: TBC
It’s going to happen, folks. This editor would like to apologise for the fact that we still don’t have a firm date in the diary, what with the big day getting ever closer. After the storm forced us to cancel back in November, we’re in desperate need of someone seriously sensational to do the honours and flip the switch.
Know a celeb? Contact Caroline today! (Really. Straight away. Don’t dawdle!)
Film Review: Captain Woodentop Strikes Again
Does anyone need a good snooze? Then I recommend Jack Jones’s latest thriller. Playing a secret agent on a mission to stop a rogue scientist, Jones’s delivery has all the intensity of a casual Sunday stroll.
While explosions light up the screen and his co-stars do their best to bring the heat, Jones stumbles through the high-stakes chases with all the charisma of a coat rack.
Once again, Jack Jones exhibits less star-power than the trees in Crumbleton Clump, ensuring this potential pulse-pounding thriller flatlines with no chance of resuscitation.
Caroline Cook. Editor
CHAPTER 1
CAROLINE
‘Aw come on Ruby… you know you want to!’ wheedled Caroline, fluttering her eyelashes at her friend.
Ruby shook her head firmly and took a sip of tea as she settled further into the depths of the squashy sofa. She’d made a kind of writer’s nest around herself, complete with laptop, blanket, and assorted notebooks.
The three friends were piled into the back room of Crumbleton Bookshop. It wasn’t quite the setting Caroline had imagined when she’d called an emergency meeting… but Ruby had taken to writing on the giant sofa nestled between the bookshelves. It was practically impossible to get her to leave her perch when she was in the middle of a work in progress.
Golden lamplight reflected off the gilded spines of Oli’s collection of antiquarian books surrounding them. The only sound other than their own chatter was the gentle tapping of Oli’s laptop drifting through from the front of the shop. There were definitely worse places to hang out on a chilly, grey day a week before Christmas!
‘Told you she wouldn’t do it,’ said Milly with a smirk from behind her own mug.
‘But it’s just the switch on of the Christmas lights,’ said Caroline with a pout. ‘It’ll only take you two seconds… just a little speech and the flip of a switch. Look at it like this - it’s your civic duty.’
‘Nice try,’ laughed Ruby, rolling her eyes, ‘but you used that line last time you wanted me to cut a ribbon.’
‘But you’re my go-to celebrity!’ said Caroline.
‘I’m sure Milly wouldn’t mind doing it for you,’ said Ruby, unmoved. ‘I mean, the switchisup at the museum – and her shop’s literally two doors down!’
‘Yeah… but I’m not acelebrity author!’said Milly with a grin.
‘Me neither,’ muttered Ruby.
‘Nice try, Rubes,’ said Milly, ‘but considering you’ve got a film being made of your last book… you definitely are!’
‘Well, it doesn’t matter either way,’ said Ruby with a shrug. ‘I really can’t. I’m sorry, but I’ve got this deadline.’
‘So how come you’ve got time to drink tea with us, then?’ said Caroline.
‘Totally different,’ said Ruby. ‘This is professional procrastination. Besides, you said there was an emergency, and then you guys basically invaded my office.’
‘She does have a point,’ said Milly, stretching out in the comfy armchair, looking like she was thoroughly enjoying herself.
‘I’m really sorry, Car,’ said Ruby. ‘But I’ve got until Christmas Eve to get this draft to my editor. She’s already doing her nut in that I haven’t sent her any chapters yet, so I’m going to be deep in the trenches this week. Even Oli’s going to struggle to get a coherent sentence out of me until it’s done!’
