"No we haven't. You never said you were going to resign..."
"I mean about waiting until you graduate. I'm not doing it. We've had this discussion. If I stay we won't be able to be together. I'm not waiting to be with you. I've already made my decision. And it was the easiest decision I've ever made. Please just let me handle this. I'm not changing my mind."
I didn't know what to say. I felt like he was reprimanding me for caring. I wasn't trying to fix it because I didn't respect his decision. I just wished that he had discussed his decision with me before coming in here. I was just trying to help.
Joe cleared his throat. "Midterm grades are due at the end of this week. You'll still need to submit those. I've already gotten other professors to cover your classes during the investigation. They can just continue doing it until the end of the semester. You two have one class together. The validity of your grades is in question, Penny. You'll have to re-present your speeches to your new professor so he can sign off on them. This way you won't have to completely retake the course. Or you can stop taking the class. That's up to you. But the drop/add window has passed, so you'll have to withdraw and pay the fee for changes in registration. It'll appear as a W on your transcript, but it won't hurt your G.P.A. You'll have to let me know by next Tuesday before the window closes.
"So I'm not being expelled?" I asked.
"No," Joe said. "I'm giving you two strikes which will go on your record. You broke the rules too, but the blame for this lies on James. It has to. The university has standards for their professors. I don't know how your relationship started andI don't want to know. Don't give me reason to make your punishment harsher."
I stayed quiet. All I got was a slap on the wrist. I had been fully prepared to get kicked out of school. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. James rubbed his thumb against my palm. He promised it would be okay and it was. But it wasn't for him. He was resigning. And he was mad at me for trying to get him to change his mind. He was giving everything up to be with me.
"So I'll talk to the press today and let them know about your resignation," Joe said. "Unless there is any way I can change your mind?"
"I'm sorry, Joe," Professor Hunter said.
I felt numb. I couldn't believe this was happening. I remembered running into James at the coffee shop. I never thought I'd see him again. And now it felt like I was ruining his life. We had only known each other for two months. What were we doing here? I felt like I was going to throw up.
"I'd prefer if you didn't flaunt your relationship around the school. I know I can't tell you what to do anymore, James. But I'm asking this as a favor. Let things settle down. We're still running the investigation. The university has to come out looking like we did everything we could do. Especially now that you're resigning. It makes you look guilty. I believe that it's just her, but this is only just the start. It's going to get worse before it gets better." He grabbed the newspaper off his desk and tossed it in the trash. "And I have to ask, under the circumstances. What happened to your eye?" He looked at James' bruise. It was fading, but it was still visible.
"Just a misunderstanding."
"Good." Joe sighed. "I thought the next thing you were going to tell me is that you got in a fist fight with a student." He laughed and shook his head. "That's the last thing this school needs right now. And I didn't want to have to talk about that in the interview."
Shit!
James shifted in his chair.
"Penny, do you mind if I have a word alone with James?" Joe asked. "We need to discuss a few more things."
"No, that's fine." I wanted to get out of there. I felt young and foolish. I had ruined James' life. How was he sitting there so calmly? How could he always be so sure of everything? I felt sick to my stomach.
"Go to class," Joe said. "And be prepared for most of the student body to already know."
I looked at James. His gaze was cool. He nodded at me and let go of my hand.
I stood up. "Thank you for being so understanding, Mr. Vespelli. And I'm sorry about all of this."
"Well you really should have thought about that beforehand, shouldn't you have? One more strike and you'll be expelled. Don't let me see you in here again."
I swallowed hard. I looked once more at James. I wasn't sure what they had left to discuss. He'd tell me later. "Thanks," I said again quietly and walked out, closing the door behind me.
Addiction - Chapter 21
Wednesday
I sat down in my usual seat. I was the first one there. The whole building had been eerily quiet. It felt like I was dreaming. James had made the decision to resign without talking to me. He already had the letter with him. I felt small. He said he would fix it, but I didn't know that's what he had meant. I should have felt happy that we could finally be together. But I didn't. All I could think about was the fact that he had made the decision without me and left me in the dark on purpose. I felt so alone. This wasn't how a relationship was supposed to be. We were supposed to work out things together. I wiped my eyes with my palms.
I wondered how many people in my class would have seen the article. Not many, surely. I didn't read the newspaper. It wasn't likely that many college students did either. But something like this would circulate fast. Even if the article hadn't released my name, it would have been easy to guess that it was me. The speeches I had given were always out of line. Especially the one where I freaked out and talked about hating marketing.
The door opened and I looked up. Tyler walked in. He quickly walked over to me and sat down at the desk beside mine.
"I was hoping you'd be here early. How are you holding up?" he asked.
"I've been better. So I'm guessing you saw the article?"
"Yeah." He looked down at his hands. "Did you know?"