Page 117 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 2
Devotion - Chapter 32
Thursday
When I arrived back at the hospital, James was arguing with the nurse. He was trying to stand up and the nurse kept telling him to stay in bed. He looked pale from the effort. I wanted to be able to comfort him. I wanted to be able to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I didn't know that it was. I didn't know that it could be.
He glanced at the door and spotted me. "Penny! Are you okay? I've been trying to reach you."
I swallowed hard and walked into the room.
"You need to sit down, Mr. Hunter," the nurse said. "This is your last warning or I'm going to have to sedate you."
James stopped trying to get past her and sat down on the edge of the bed. He was breathing heavily when I reached him.
"Are you hurt?" He winced as he reached up to touch the side of my face.
"I'm fine."
"Is Rob okay?" he asked. "Is he going to be okay?"
I could hear the pain in his voice. But all I could think about was the fact that he shouldn't just be upset. He should feel guilty.
"I don't know. He's unconscious. His leg is broken and he has a bullet in his right shoulder. There was so much blood." I pressed my lips together. I wasn't going to cry right now.
The pain wasn't just in James' voice. It was all over his face. He did feel guilty. He knew this was his fault. But he wasn't saying anything. He wasn't telling me the truth. And he certainly wasn't letting me in. I wanted to hug him and slap him at the same time.
"Do you know why Rob was there in the first place?" I didn't give him a chance to answer. "Because he thought his big brother was dying. And he wanted justice for you. He was searching for evidence that Isabella was behind the shooting. Because of something that you said to him. About how you wanted him to watch out for me if something happened to you. And that you were willing to die for me."
"Penny..."
"Because you knew what Isabella was planning to do! You knew." My voice cracked on the last word. "You knew, James."
He didn't say anything.
"Rob got hurt trying to find evidence to put Isabella behind bars. He got hurt trying to protect you. Because you thought lying to us protected us. It didn't, James. It only ever hurts me. It hurts me."
"Penny..."
"No, James. I spent every day by your bed torturing myself. Blaming myself. Agonizing over my mistakes. It almost killedme. Every time you tell me something new, I feel like it's the last secret you have. That you finally trust me completely. But that's not the case. It's never the case. Now's the time for you to throw out insults and push me away. Go ahead. Tell me to leave. Kick me out of your life. Tear me down like you love to do. Because pain is easier for you than love."
"Penny." He coughed. "Damn it." His knuckles were turning white, holding himself up on the bed.
I should have gone to him. I should have comforted him. But I couldn't. "We're broken, James. You broke us."
He didn't look sad anymore. He looked angry. "What was I supposed to do, Penny? I wasn't going to let Isabella dictate how I lived my life. I wasn't going to let anyone do that ever again. I'm so sick of people telling us we can't be together. Choosing to be with you is the only good decision I've ever made in my whole fucking life. No one is ever going to tell me that we can't be together. Fuck that."
"Then why would you risk your life knowing you had a DNR? You basically signed your death certificate. You never really wanted this. That hurts even more than the secrets and lies. The fact that you'd leave me without fighting. The fact that you'd throw this all away. How could you?"
"I don't have a DNR."
"Stop lying to me. I thought we were finally on the same page. I thought we were finally okay. I'm going to go see how Rob is."
"Don't walk out like this. You told me you'd stay with me. You shouldn't have been in our apartment anyway. Why did you go when you said you wouldn't?"
"Because I was trying to take care of you!"
"And that's no different than anything I did."
"I didn't purposely put myself in danger, James."
