Page 320 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 2
For the first time this summer, I was happy for the heat. It was the only thing that could take the cold feeling of the hospital out of my bones.
The Light to My Darkness - Chapter 13
Tuesday
Sleep evaded me. My eyes traveled along the sharp line of James' jaw. I pressed my lips together as my gaze wandered over his parted lips. He was snoring lightly. He only did that when he was truly exhausted. Was he losing sleep over me? The past few days he had felt distant. Did he lay awake staring at me too? I wanted to reach out and run my fingers through his hair, but something held me back.
Five years ago, if I hadn't been able to sleep, I would have climbed on top of him and made him lose sleep too. There was something so pure about feeling his need for me with him barely being awake. His eyes opening, heavy with lust. I loved that. I loved him.
I swallowed hard. I wanted to climb on top of him right now. But I had a feeling he'd push me aside. He'd tell me I needed rest. He'd roll over so I couldn't even study his face while I was unable to sleep. When had we stopped making love in the middle of the night? When had we stopped letting passion overcome us?
I thought things might change once Scarlett was born. In a lot of ways they had. But James had still looked at me like he preferred me naked. Now he just looked at me like he preferred me in a wheelchair. He was worried about me. I understood that. It didn't mean I didn't miss that look, though. The one that made my knees weak. The one that could take my mind off all my worries. I needed that look right now. Couldn't he see how much I needed him?
But instead of reaching for him, I slowly climbed out of bed. His distance worried me. I looked down at the worn, stretched out t-shirt I was sleeping in. Maybe I needed to try a little harder. I pulled off the shirt and grabbed my silk robe from a hook on the door. I slid my arms into the sleeves and tied the sash tight. James stayed perfectly still in the bed. He used to swear he couldn't sleep without me by his side. Now he looked a little more comfortable with the extra room to spread out.
I turned away from our bed and headed into the hall. My feet stopped outside of Scarlett's bedroom. I leaned against the doorjamb as I watched her sleeping peacefully, her favorite stuffed animal held tight in her arms. No worries. No concerns. So peaceful. Whenever I saw her sleeping, I was always so tempted to lift her into my arms. I used to sing her to sleep every night. But now she preferred bedtime stories from James. My little girl was growing up. Hell, it already seemed like she was falling in love. Would time keep speeding up like this? Would I be looking at my son sleeping in a few years and wonder what happened to the time? I ran my hand across my stomach. I hoped I'd be so lucky.
I sighed and walked back into the hall. My feet tread lightly down the stairs. Writing always made me feel better. Maybe I could take another stab at the second book of my series. I grabbed my laptop off my desk and wandered into the kitchen. A late night snack couldn't hurt either. I switched on my computer, picked up a banana out of the basket on the counter, and sat down in one of the stools.
The light from the computer screen gave the kitchen an eerie glow. I stared at the first paragraph of my second book.
"My stomach was in knots. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't seem to focus in class. Every day that I saw Professor Hunter I had this pathetic hope that things would somehow be the way they were before. But it never happened. He wouldn't even look at me. It was like I didn't exist."
I took a bite of my banana and rested my chin in my hand. Every day James dressed in a pair of pants that hugged his ass perfectly and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up, revealing his strong forearms. He made his way to NYCU to teach. He had students that adored him. He was finally truly happy. And every day I wished he'd turn around and teach me a few things instead. Was I really jealous of his current students? It's not like I thought he was falling in love with some 19 year old in the back row of his class. Maybe I just missed that forbidden dynamic between us. I missed when his eyes begged me to call him Professor Hunter. When it turned him on just a little bit more. The only time I ever called him that now was when I was writing about it from the past.
"Is that how you feel?" James said from behind me.
I choked on the banana in my mouth and slammed my laptop shut. "What?" I turned around to face him.
Without the glow from the computer screen, the room was now dark. But the look in his eyes was unmistakable. It was the one that I had been missing. My eyes wandered down his abs to the V of his waist. The rest of him was hidden underneath a pair of loose sweatpants. His impressive bulge, however, was quite visible through the fabric.
He crossed his arms and walked up to the kitchen island. "Like I don't look at you?" His voice was low and seductive. "Like you don't exist?" He put one elbow down on the counter and leaned against it.
My eyes gravitated back to his. "I wrote that about those weeks after you found out my age. When I thought I lost you." I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "It was a long time ago."
"That doesn't answer my question. Come here."
I swallowed hard. "It's not how I feel. But what Dr. Nelson said bothered me, yes. How could it not? And I'm not illiterate. I see what they say in the tabloids. It's...hurtful. Ever since I stopped working everyone questions what I'm doing with my time. For a while there, it felt like everyone was on our side. And now the whole city hates me. It's like they're waiting for you to move on to the next thing. Like they can't wait for you to cast me aside for someone more interesting."
"Come. Here."
The way he said it made me press my thighs together. My eyes met his again. He looked like he wanted to fuck the negative thoughts right out of me. Like he wanted to take away my pain. I didn't have any doubt that he could.
I probably moved faster than I had in weeks. The next thing I knew, his fingers were in my hair, pulling my head back so his lips could have easy access to mine. My back was pressed against the edge of the granite countertop. And his other hand had slid beneath my silk robe and was squeezing my ass.
"Baby, I see you." His breath was hot against my skin as his lips traveled down my neck.
All I could do was moan.
He untied the string of my robe and separated the thin fabric.
My hand instinctively went to my stomach. "God, I'm huge. We don't have to do this right now. I know you can't really want me like this." I reached for the cord for my robe, but he grabbed my hand.
"You're beautiful when you're pregnant. If it was up to me, you'd be pregnant all the time."
I laughed as he easily lifted me onto the countertop. "Pregnant all the time?" I shook my head. "Remember when I didn't have any stretch marks? Remember when I could tie my own shoes?"
"I like your stretch marks." He kissed the side of my stomach. "They remind me of the gift you've given me." He kissed the other side of my stomach. "And I like tying your shoes." He dropped to his knees and kissed the inside of my ankle. He left a trail of kisses up the inside of my calf.
