Page 386 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 2
"No, I want Mommy."
Her words made the reality settle around me. What if she never got to see her mother again? What if I never got to? Scarlett no longer felt comforting in my arms. She felt heavy. Suddenly she seemed more like a burden than a blessing. Why couldn't I look at her? The side of my face twitched again.
"He needs a wristband if he's staying," the security guard said. "It'll just take a minute, but he needs to come with me."
I couldn't keep holding Scarlett. I couldn't keep pretending I knew how to comfort her when my world was dark. I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. "I need you to go sit with Ellen, okay?"
"No." She gripped me tighter.
"Dad, can you take her?" I asked.
"Of course." My father reached down and lifted her out of my arms.
"No! Daddy!" she screamed and started crying.
I turned away without looking at her.
"Daddy!" she cried as I quickly followed the security guard out of the waiting room.
I usually couldn't stand to hear her cry. I doted on her all the time. I spoiled her, just like Penny said. But right now, I could barely hear her cries. They sounded muffled. And I was very aware of the fact that it felt like the world was becoming blurry. My chest hurt when I took a breath. Penny always made it easy to breathe.
I winced at Scarlett screaming for me, but I didn't turn back. I needed a minute. I just needed one fucking minute.
***
I blinked as a hospital bracelet was fastened to my wrist. I stared at the man who was warning me I wouldn't get another chance. But I didn't seem to be able to process his words.
"You can go now," he said, irritably, like it wasn't the first time he had spoken the words.
I slowly walked back toward the stairs. Everything felt methodical. Like I wasn't really there. Like it wasn't real. But then I took a deep breath before I pushed through the doors back into the waiting room. And suddenly it felt real. It felt like I'd never get to see Penny again.
I dropped my hands from the door, sat down on the stairs, and I cried. I cried because I had a beautiful daughter. I had family. I had friends. But I wanted none of it. I'd trade it all for one more moment with Penny. One more kiss. One more fucking breath.
Because, God, I couldn't breathe. I put my hand on the side of my face, trying to stop the twitching. How was I supposed to breathe without her?
The Light to My Darkness - Chapter 36
Monday
James
My hands were shaking as I splashed water on my face. I gripped the sides of the sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was whole when I left for London. But there was a broken man staring back at me now. I knew what this looked like. I was all too familiar with it.
It had always been my fear. The darkest one. The one I didn't know how to let go of. The one that no amount of goodness could erase. I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't see the twitch of my eye. Because the truth was, my supply had just run out. And I needed a fix. I needed to kiss her lips. I needed to smell her hair. I needed to feel her skin against mine. I gripped the sink even harder. Penny had always been my drug. Taste. Touch. Smell. Sight. Sound. She was everything. Without her, I had nothing left.
I kept my eyes closed as the restroom door opened.
"Where were you?" Rob asked.
I didn't say anything. Where was I? Where had I been when my wife was dying? In the air? At a meeting? How long had she been in surgery? How long had I been standing in this fucking bathroom, hiding from the world?
"She needed you," Rob said and shoved my shoulder.
I didn't move, I was gripping the sink so tight.
"You were in London screwing some random girl when your wife was seven months pregnant with your child." He grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me away from the mirrors. "Fuck you." He pushed me, slamming my lower back against the sink.
It was the first thing I had felt besides my twitch in too long.Fire.I used to love getting into fights when I was young. When I had nothing to lose. The feeling of my knuckles against someone's jaw was thrilling. I tried to shake away the thought. This wasn't some random guy in a bar. This was my brother. I tried to focus on what he had just said.Screwing some random girl?"What the hell are you even talking about?"
