Page 396 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 2
"Destroy the footage."
"But shouldn't I look to see if..."
"No one knows about this but us. Scarlett will never know that her mother tried to take her own life. My family and friendswill never hear about this. Not even the other members of the security team. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
I hung up and slid my cell phone back into my pocket. My fingers brushed across the crumpled piece of paper.Smile? Seriously? Fuck you too, Penny.
The Light to My Darkness - Chapter 40
Monday
James
I pointed to my glass and the bartender topped me off.
One drink. That's what I told myself. I stared down at my third.
Twitch.
Why wasn't alcohol helping? This was the only way I knew how to cope. This was the only way I knew how to numb the pain. But my body was betraying me.
I pulled the crumpled piece of paper out of my pocket and smoothed it out against the bar. She wanted me to forget about her. Was that because she thought I already had? I pushed my hair off my forehead. Where had we gone wrong?
No, I wasn't a perfect husband. But I tried. I kept my vows to her. I loved her more each day. Hadn't I told her that? Sometimes I stayed out late with my friends. Sometimes I'd lose track of time grading papers and miss dinner.
But most days? Most days I was there with her. Loving her. Cherishing her.
I read the words she had written again. Suddenly my anger was gone. I didn't know where I went wrong, but I knew it was my fault. I knew she had tried to take her life because of me. Whether it was because she thought I was cheating or something else. I had let her down. She wouldn't have done it otherwise.She loved our daughter. She loved our family and friends. But she didn't always love me. We fought. I made her cry too many times to count. I had somehow broken my perfect wife.
Baby, you need to come back to me. Let me try harder. Give me another chance.
I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Porter. "If you haven't deleted it yet, find when she did it. I need to see it." I pressed send and downed my third glass.
It wasn't the same feeling that Penny gave me. She made me feel alive. The burn of alcohol down my throat made me feel like I was barely holding on. I put some bills down on the bar and made my way back outside.
The sign for the hospital was in the distance, glowing now that dusk was upon the city. I was hiding. The note burning a hole in my pocket told me exactly what I needed to do. Penny was worried I'd be a bad father if she died. It was my biggest fear too. Whether she knew it or not, she had validated it. She was fucking right. I had a son that I didn't want to hold. I had a daughter that wouldn't stop crying. And all I wanted to do was head back into the bar.
I willed my feet to take me back to the hospital. Through the other entrance. Up the stairs to the NICU. I stared at my son through the window.
A neonatal nurse was inside, checking something on one of the machines my son was hooked up to. She looked up at me and then walked to the door. "Do you want to hold him?" she asked as she peered her head out.
I immediately shook my head.
She stepped out and walked over to me. "He's going to make it. He's strong."
My throat felt dry.
"What's his name?"
"My wife liked the name Liam."Why did I say "liked" instead of "likes"?
"Ah. Strong-willed warrior."
I turned toward her. "What?"
"I hear so many names. I started looking up all their meanings. That's a good name for him. Because he has to be strong to get through this. Are you sure you don't want to hold him?"
