Page 22 of Drag You Down
And stop myself again.
It’s a very beautiful watch. I’ve needed a watch for some time, but Father Zachariah never deemed it a good use of thecongregation’s funds. Father Zachariah says it’s enough that he has a watch.
If I keep this unnecessary material possession, the Devil will continue to chase me.
But he chases me regardless. Why shouldn’t I keep the watch, then?
I clutch the box against my chest, and I’m furious at myself for being this weak. I need to be vigilant, and strong, and cast aside temptations and demons and the entire outside world.
Meet me at 3 p.m.
With shaking hands, I open the box again and see the neat clockwork hands displaying 2:43 p.m.
I still have time to confront him and tell him to leave me alone.
As I walk, the nearby billboard catches my eye, the one with its big flashing lights and ads that depict half naked people or material goods that provide fleeting pleasures. The picture changes to a close up of a man’s face, lips and jaw freshly shaved. The man is handsome, but I think he’d look better if the jaw were thinner, if his lips fuller, if?—
If he licked the blood from my lips.
I shudder and wrap my arms around myself.
My sin, my weakness. I need to show the Devil that I don’t need any of this. I’ll throw this box back at him. I don’t want this wicked token.
I make my way to the small courtyard again, going through the narrow gap between buildings to the dirty, corrupted sanctuary.
The sounds of the city are muted here, blocked out by the tall buildings enclosing the space. When I look up, I can see the sky, but the entire courtyard is shaded in a creeping darkness. Nothing good can grow here.
There’s nobody here.
No Devil, noangel in disguise.
I clutch my bag and reprimand myself for even having entertained this thought.
For being disappointed.
I should be glad I’m alone. I should stay away from any temptations, and the Devil is temptation distilled into the form of a single handsome man.
I pull the box out and go to set it where the man had lain dying all those days ago. There’s nothing but a dark smear there now, no hint that a soul had been extinguished.
“Take your gifts and leave me alone,” I whisper.
“Why would I do that?” a familiar voice asks.
I startle.
I hadn’t even heard him approach, but as I spin around, I see him.
He’s dressed all in black again, that same style of button-down shirt and trousers that fit him nicely without being too tight.
Too nicely.
I need to stop noticing these things. Nothing about the Devil isnice.
“Because there is no place for you here, Devil,” I say, but my voice is unsteady. Even to my own ears, it sounds like a lie.
The Devil who calls himself Gabriel chuckles, striding closer to me.
I stand my ground. I won’t back down.
