Page 48 of Drag You Down
I can never go back to my old life.
Even if I return to Father Zachariah and Eve, even if I somehow manage to avoid Gabriel, I’m forever changed.
I’m not sure if I’m falling or flying.
Only once my lungs start burning, and Gabriel pushes against my back, do I raise my head out of the water again.
“‘Be baptized and wash away your sins,’” I murmur, mostly to myself.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you,” Gabriel replies, kissing my bare shoulder.
I press my nails into my thigh to prevent myself from grabbing my erection instead. Gabriel shifts the ottoman so he’s behind me, then pours shampoo onto my head.
The shampoo is different from what I’m used to, and while the scent is strong, it isn’t overpowering. I don’t know what scent it is, but it’s pleasant, piney and… something else. The conditioner is no different, and he helps me sit back up when he’s done.
I blink a few times to clear the water from my vision, then I look up at him in a haze. Everything is fuzzy around the edges, but I feel different.
I feel clean.
Where do I go from here, when my savior is a killer and I’ve been baptized into a new life that I know is forever entangled with his?
“Come on, boy,” Gabriel murmurs. “Let Daddy take you to bed—and take care of what I know has been bothering you since before the bath started.”
I freeze. “It would be an abomination,” I say, but my voice is weak. My conviction is weak.
I want him to take care of me.
I want him to touch me.
Gabriel scoffs at me. “Whatisn’tan abomination?”
There are only seven, I want to protest. Seven things.
But he’s right. They encompass so much.
I cling to my last shred of conviction. “Father Zachariah says?—”
Gabriel’s expression turns stern. “He isn’t your Daddy. I am. So listen to me, and let me give you all the pleasure you deserve.”
I’ve never had adad. I’ve only had a Father, and certainly never aDaddy.
And I want to know the difference between them so badly it aches.
“Yes, Daddy,” I whisper.
The words feel right on my tongue.
“Good boy,” Gabriel answers, pulling me close for another kiss.
I surrender to it, surrender to him, and I’m breathless by the time he releases me. He helps me out of the bathtub, and I’m as shaky as a newborn colt.
It doesn’t feel like it’s in a bad way. It feels like being reborn has taken its toll, but Gabriel will fill that emptiness with attention and praise.
He’ll care for me.
Why am I disappointed that it won’t include bloodshed of my own?
CHAPTER 11
