Page 49 of Drag You Down
LEVI
Gabriel guides me back into the bedroom with a hand on the small of my back.
I’m keenly aware of my nudity, and of the fact that he’s fully dressed. The imbalance is striking, but I’m terrified that if I see what’s beneath his clothing, I might be tempted to do things I shouldn’t even think about.
Things I shouldn’t want to do.
“Lay down on the bed, on your back,” Gabriel says. “I’ll show you more pleasure than any other person ever has, my lamb. You’ll never want to go back to any other lover.”
Go back.
I stare up at him with wide eyes. Does he think I’ve known pleasure by any hand other than my own? Does he think I’vedared?
I’ve never been interested in women, and men…
It’s beyond forbidden.
Unease threatens to erase some of the arousal.
Pleasure is a trap. Worldly sensations are a trap.
But I want it.
I want him.
I go to the bed, lying down, and I watch him warily.
Gabriel smiles at me and begins to pull his shirt off—his ridiculous costume, the one that let him pretend to be a building inspector.
My mouth goes dry as he reveals an expanse of muscle and hair, all leading down into his pants. I don’t dare lower my gaze more, because if I see an obvious tent there, I don’t know what I’ll do.
“Shall I start by sucking you, boy?” Gabriel asks with casual dominance. “I’ve always enjoyed bringing a boy to tears with pleasure.”
I’ve cried while touching myself before, but never because of pleasure.
No, it’s always because of shame and pain and misery.
This is all new, all strange, and I don’t know what to do with all of these words.
“I’ve never—” I blurt out, my cheeks flaming hotly. “I mean, I haven’t. There haven’t been lovers at all.”
Gabriel stops moving, and I wrap my arms around myself in shame.
It should be a good thing. I was saving myself for marriage—marriage that I would never have. Yet now I wonder about how I’ll fail him. If I don’t perform the way he wants, will he cast me aside?
“You’re… you’re a virgin?” Gabriel whispers. He climbs onto the bed and grips my shoulders. Before I can react, he presses his lips to mine, desperate and possessing, like he can’t get enough of me. I part my lips for him and let him take from me, not sure about this reaction but letting myself get swept away in it.
I whimper when he nips at my lower lip and pulls away.
“You saved yourself for me,” Gabriel says with awe. “My beautiful, perfect lamb.”
Did I avoid temptation all of this time only to surrender to this avenging angel?
For a moment, I think that he’s simply going to defile me and be done with me, but something within, something fiercer, insists that he’s going to take me over and over again, to make me reach new heights each time.
How have I gone from being so terrified to yearning so deeply?
Gabriel slides down the mattress and presses a soft kiss to my thigh. “Unblemished. Untouched.Mine.”
