Page 60 of Drag You Down
Levi laughs humorlessly. “Yes.” He pauses, then adds in a softer voice, “But it feels good.”
“Then it’s not wrong,” I answer.
I remember other debates, ones that turned sour and had yelling, but those people don’t matter anymore.
The only person who matters is Levi.
I kiss his lips, inhale his air, and I know it within my soul.
Levi is the world.
CHAPTER 13
LEVI
There’s an unfamiliar weight around my waist, an unfamiliar heat at my back, and I tense the second I wake enough to remember where I am.
Who I’m with.
I slept with the Devil, and his blood still lingers beneath my nails.
I more thansleptwith him. I took pleasure from his body and allowed him to take pleasure from mine in turn, and it was wrong.
My heart pounds, and the need to get out from beneath the arm draped over my stomach gets more and more urgent until the idea of staying there is panic-inducing. I slip free of his embrace, and while he stirs, he doesn’t fully wake.
I hold my breath as soon as I’ve gotten out of bed, watching him. Part of me aches to slide back under the covers and linger within the sphere of his warmth, but I know better. I’ve already sinned to the point where I’m not sure even Father Zachariah can absolve me of the consequences of my actions.
What have I done?
I blink back tears, quickly grabbing my clothes and fleeing to the other room to get dressed. My ass is sore from the spanking,but it isn’t a sharp pain the way the whippings are. It’s spread out, warm, and makes me feel something I don’t want to admit.
Because whatever that feeling is, it isn’t guilt.
Something brushes against my ankles, and I yelp before I realize it’s Gabriel’s cat. Ichabod trills at me, the sound surprising me, and I whisper, “Shh.” I can’t have him making noise and waking Gabriel up.
I get dressed, looking down at my hands. They’re still covered in blood. I can’t leave like this, but every second I linger is another second in which Gabriel might wake up and stop me from going home.
I hurry to the kitchen to scrub my hands, and I mourn the loss of the blood as the stain on my skin fades until there’s no sign of it. I can still see it under my fingernails, but I have to get out of here.
Drying my hands on a cloth, I turn, only to see Ichabod sitting in the doorway. It sends a shiver through me. I don’t mind cats, but this one seems toseeme.
I squeeze past him, as though he’s taking up so much more space than he is, then carefully head to the door. After I put my shoes on, I quietly slip out of the apartment, and I don’t breathe fully until the door closes behind me.
Then I flee, hurrying down the hallway and out of the building.
I try not to think about the fact that Gabriel could follow me at any given point; he knows where I live, and he knows how to get to me.
I have to hope that he’ll finally take the hint and leave me alone, but I know better. He’s going to dog my heels until he finds a new obsession…
And the idea of him finding a new obsession hurts somehow, strangely, like a stab to the heart. It makes no sense, obviously.I don’t want him focused on me. I don’t want the constant temptation I’d given into only hours earlier.
I can’t handle it.
I can’t handle what I could become.
I’m already a sinner — everyone is — but it feels worse right now.
I’ll need to confess to Father Zachariah.
