Page 80 of Drag You Down
I will give him the world.
CHAPTER 17
LEVI
The cat doesn’t care what I smell like. He rubs against my filthy jeans and mrows at us when we walk past him without stopping to pet.
“Later, Ichabod,” Gabriel says, then stops. He looks at the empty food bowl and curses. “You didn’t get food last night. Shit. And you must be starving too, Levi.”
I am, but I don’t want to be a bother. I’m more interested in getting clean, too, and in getting water. I’m parched, and I’m not sure I could keep food down even if I wanted to eat.
“Can I have a shower first?” I ask.
I pissed myself like a child, and the constant reminder of it is making me more and more ashamed.
“Yes,” Gabriel says immediately. “Ichabod can wait another few minutes.” He takes my hand again, completely ignoring the way the cuff dangles from my wrist. “A nice hot shower.”
I look up at him, nodding. My cheeks are still burning, and the constant pressure on my wrists from the cuffs only reminds me over and over again of their presence, of how they got there, of what had happened leading up to it.
I should never have left Gabriel’s. I should’ve stayed where someone wanted to take care of me.
I don’t know what Father Zachariah wanted from me. He says he wanted to save my soul, but I don’t believe him. Not anymore.
Gabriel tugs at my hand, and I realize he’s been trying to get my attention. He leads me through his bedroom to the bathroom, turning the shower on.
“Is there a way to get these off?” I ask, lifting my hand.
I don’t know how much longer I can stand them.
“Yes. These are flimsy,” Gabriel says. He pulls something out of his pocket, a long pin of some sort, and after a few seconds of fumbling with the cuff, he has it unlocked.
That’s all it took to free me.
More tears threaten to spill down my cheeks.
Gabriel lifts my other hand to undo that cuff too.
I sniffle and inhale quickly to stop myself from crying pathetically. “How… how do you know how to do that?”
He kisses the reddened skin of my wrist. “I thought it would be a good idea to learn. So I did. I’ll teach you, too.”
“I’d like that,” I say even though it’s not something I should want to learn. But I want to learn this.
I want to learn everything he wants to teach me.
I shed the clothes I’m wearing, fresh waves of shame washing over me as the soiled pants and underwear fall heavily to the floor, but there’s no judgement in his expression as he helps me out of my shirt.
I turn to get into the shower, and Gabriel looks at me with more warmth and desire in his eyes than I thought possible.
Desire, despite the fact that I’m filthy and gross.
“I’m going to feed Ichabod, and then I’ll be back,” Gabriel says. “Just get yourself warmed up, little lamb. I’ll wash you and take care of you.”
He lingers in the doorway of the bathroom for a few moments before jogging out.
I hiss in a breath as the hot water pummels my injured back, but I’m used to this. I’m used to worse, really, and this is nothing in comparison to some of the other penance I’ve taken.
It feels like it is despite it all.
