Page 86 of Drag You Down
Levi averts his eyes. “It was nothing more than I deserved,” he says.
“You did not deserve it!” I shout vehemently. “The only people who deserve punishment are those who would hurt the innocent!”
He jumps, his eyes going wide. “Gabriel—” he begins, only to cut himself off. He shakes his head, withdrawing from me a few inches. “You don’t understand. If I didn’t deserve it, if it was all for nothing, I…” He falters again. “I need to believe that I deserved it.”
“No.” I shake my head. “You were tortured and hurt because of that man’s sadism. He took pleasure in hurting you. I know that much.”
Because I know what it feels like, to see another person suffering and get off on it.
The darkness inside of me that has dogged my steps since childhood.
The only way I can control it is to direct where it goes.
I won’t hurt an innocent person like Levi.
But Zachariah Carpenter is far from innocent.
“Then that makes me weak,” Levi replies quietly. “That makes me stupid. I should’ve seen it. I should’ve taken Eve and left. But I didn’t have anywhere to go. I didn’t have anyone to turn to.” He meets my eyes, though there are tears welling up in his. “Until you.”
The mention of his sister has me seething again, but I know better than to suggest she is no better than Zachariah.
She was the one who’d told Zachariah about Levi’s transgressions, though.
She was the one who stood there and demanded he stay with the man who had tortured him.
When Levi told me how afraid he was of the dark, I’d gone out to buy nightlights for every single outlet in my condo. I would never force him to stay scared and hurt.
Levi needs comfort and nurturing.
“I will always be there for you,” I promise. “Your sister has made her choice, though. We can’t save everyone.”
No, I never save anyone.
I only avenge them after they’ve been hurt.
Levi is the first I’ve saved.
“If he’s so terrible, and what he’s doing is so terrible, why can’t we help them?” Levi asks. “You…” His voice falters again. “You’ve punished bad people. If he’s a bad person, why does he get to act free of consequences?”
Now I smile at him. “Oh, my lamb. I was never going to let him go unpunished.” I cup his chin in my hands and kiss him gently. “But caring for you will always come first.”
His expression is troubled as he searches my gaze. “What are you going to do to him?”
Carve him up.
Pull out his insides.
Make him scream and beg.
“Whatever he deserves,” I say, because I don’t want to scare my lamb. “He will never hurt anyone ever again.”
“He used to hurt our mom,” Levi says abruptly. “She left. She was there one night, then the next morning, we woke up, and she was gone.”
It’s the first piece of information about him that he’s given me.
“Your mother? Were you born into the cult?” But as soon as I ask, I know it doesn’t make sense. Zachariah was operating out of Calamity City fifteen years ago, and he’d been in jail for two years after that. Levi is young, but he isn’t that young.
“Cult,” Levi repeats. “It’s not a—” But he knows better. He has to, because he cuts himself off again. “No. It was like eight years ago. We weren’t doing so great. We didn’t eat half the time. Mom couldn’t get a job, not with the two of us. And one day, there he was, and she said it was divine intervention. We moved in, and she eventually became one of his wives.”
