Page 50 of One Moment in Time
‘Nope. Because again, I’m too fucking old for that too. I love you both. Yep, you too, Eileen, whether you still believe that or not, it’s true. I’ll see you back in South Carolina. If you change your minds, you’re welcome to join me. I’ll be at the airport, in the bar, drinking until this face doesn’t hurt any more.’ He broke off to hug Aiden, then stormed out of the door, leaving them both open-mouthed and stunned.
‘Do you think he does have concussion?’ Aiden wondered aloud.
‘If that’s the case, he’s had it since about 1989. He’s not going to change, Aiden. He’s flawed. He’s an idiot. But he’s generous and funny and there’s some other good stuff in there too. Just don’t have any expectations and you’ll be fine.’
‘What about you, Mom? Will you be fine?’
‘Always,’ she told him, but he could see the sadness. This had turned into one great big fricking nightmare and he felt awful that he’d caused it, all be it unwittingly. He couldn’t bear to see his mum unhappy like this and right now his priority was taking care of her. He wasn’t about to change how he felt about her because of a mistake she made thirty years ago and all he cared about was making sure she didn’t let that mistake come back and consume her now either. She’d spent twenty years married to his dad. That was punishment enough.
‘Do you want to go home? I can change our flights.’
She nodded and Aiden felt a pang of regret that they were about to walk away from the ashes of this trip with no progress or resolution.
‘But not yet,’ his mom added, surprising him. ‘You said I need to forgive myself and you’re right. But before I go, I need to ask someone else to forgive me too…’
25
EILEEN
Eileen knocked on the door, heart racing.
‘Are you sure this is the right room?’ she asked Aiden. His strength and decency never failed to impress her. He’d offered to come with her even though she had never felt more ashamed of herself. If he didn’t resemble his father so much, she’d swear he’d been swapped at birth and she’d brought home the son of a decent, humble bloke with integrity and a healthy moral code, instead of, well, Gary.
Today had been a watershed moment for her and Gary. She’d always known who he was, but maybe for a long time, she’d refused to accept it. Maybe there had been hope – that he would see her, that he would change for her, that’d he’d realise she’d been the love of his life all along, that he needed her. The truth was, he never had. Gary only needed Gary. And today, when he’d gone off on his rant, a door had closed inside her. An acceptance. Both of him and of what they’d done. And with that came clarity. She had stayed with him for so much longer than she should have, because the guilt of how they’d got together had never left her. She’d convinced herself that the only justification for their one-night stand was that they had been meant to be together all along. It was the biggest lie she’d ever told and it was to herself. She’d made Gary her whole life because she’d already wrecked the one that she’d had with the person she’d loved most of all.
Her question about the room was answered when the door clicked, began to open, as a voice said, ‘It’ll just be room service, and… Oh.’
Eileen watched as Brenda’s daughter, Zara, froze, eyes wide, first on her and then on Aiden.
‘Hey…’ the young woman managed.
‘I’m sorry to bother you, and I know this must be a bit of a shock, but I wondered if I could speak to your mum.’
‘Erm…’
Eileen’s heart thudded even harder as she saw Zara bite her bottom lip, exactly the way Brenda used to do. It was like a step back in time and for a moment Eileen wanted to run, hide, block out what was going on. But wasn’t that what she’d done before?
‘I’ll understand if she doesn’t want to see me, but I’d appreciate you asking her. Maybe I could wait here?’
‘Yeah, okay. Give me two mins,’ Zara replied, not unkindly, before shooting an apologetic glance at Aiden and disappearing back inside and closing the door.
‘She’s not going to see me,’ Eileen whispered, voice tight with anxiety.
‘She will, Mom. Stay positive,’ he replied, his big hand wrapping around her shaking fingers.
The door opened again. ‘My mum says she’ll see you, but only alone. Is that okay?’
‘Yes,’ Eileen replied instantly, flooded with relief, terrified at the same time.
‘Okay, well,’ Zara spoke to Aiden now. ‘My dad and sister are in the next room, so we could go there, or maybe…’
‘We could go downstairs for a drink?’ Aiden suggested.
‘Reading my mind,’ the young woman said, before stepping aside, letting Eileen go past her and into the room.
‘Thank you,’ Eileen smiled at her, then glanced back to her son and Brenda’s daughter. ‘To both of you.’
‘Good luck,’ Zara said, with genuine kindness, as she stepped out to join Aiden in the corridor. The door closed behind her and Eileen took a deep breath and a few steps forward. That’s when she spotted Brenda sitting in one of the chairs over by the window. The dress was gone, replaced by yoga pants and a T-shirt, exactly the same outfit Eileen would choose if she were home. Once upon a time, they’d had everything in common. They wore their hair the same way. Listened to the same music. Loved the same movies. Both swore they’d marry members of Duran Duran and, if they weren’t available, Spandau Ballet would do. They were inseparable. The closest thing Eileen ever had to a sister. The only person, after her mum, who had loved her. Really loved her… And Eileen had sabotaged it all.
