Page 43 of One Day and Forever
That should have been it. Case closed. Over. They weren’t divorced yet, because he’d refused to engage a lawyer or sign the papers, and she couldn’t afford the cost of the legal action it would take to force him to do that, but it had been enough to know she never had to see him or speak to him ever again.
Until now.
There had been no other choice though. If this lad was Larry’s child, then he would be her son’s brother – so for that reason, and for the memory of her friend, Morag, Alice couldn’t have let him do this alone.
It was dark outside, as they left the village of Weirbridge. The fog was getting thicker and the snow was still falling. The snowploughs hadn’t been out yet so the couple of inches of white that now covered every surface was turning the village into a scene from a Christmas card – one that Alice really didn’t want to go for a drive in. She was glad it was only ten miles or so to the rough estate in a neighbouring village, where she’d lived with Larry after they’d lost the huge, opulent mansion in the West End of Glasgow that had been their home while he was the MP for that area. Alice hadn’t cared about leaving the luxurious surroundings because it had been a gilded cage, with malice and dishonesty in the very fabric of every wall. In some ways, she’d actually preferred the dilapidated hovel that they’d moved to, because living there had been absolute torture for Larry, a daily reminder of his downfall and disgrace. After almost thirty years of abuse, threats and coercion, Alice had welcomed the pain going in his direction.
And now it was flowing her way again.
The thought of seeing him had sent every one of her nerves to the surface of her skin, making it crawl. She couldn’t even pinpoint the emotions that were twisting her gut. It wasn’t fear. She’d stopped being terrified of Larry McLenn when he could no longer hurt her or threaten their son. This was something different. Horror. Like falling asleep and watching an old nightmare return, one that had taken her to hell and almost decimated her to the core the first time around. There was nowhere in the world she dreaded going more than Larry McLenn’s house. All she could do, for all their sakes, was hope that he wasn’t there. He’d spent four months in prison after the crash, but Alice had spotted a story in the paper a few weeks ago that said he’d now been released. If he wasn’t at the house she’d lived in with him, then she had no idea where else he would be.
Zac was in the back seat of the Jeep, and Alice was the front passenger, so she turned around to speak to him. ‘Are you really sure about this, Zac? I promise you, he’s not a good person and nothing good has ever come to anyone from meeting Larry McLenn.’
She could see the tension on his face and her heart ached for him. The poor guy. He had only said his final goodbyes to his aunt this morning, and now he was dealing with what had to be one of the biggest shocks of his life.
‘The truth is, I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘Part of me thinks I’ve lost the plot, but the other part of me needs to know the whole story. I can’t stand the thought that he might have hurt my mum, or at least caused her to lose her best friend, change her whole life, keep a secret for a lifetime. But then, what if…’ He stopped, choking on the last few words of that sentence, but she knew what he was going to say.What if he’s my dad?
Over time, she’d come to realise that it was incredibly difficult for anyone who’d had a happy, loving upbringing to understand that people with the opposite experience sometimes had to walk away from their parents because they were just not good people. It was a lesson her son had learned, when he had cut his dad out of his life, but even then, it had taken a lot to get to that point. She suspected Zac would follow his natural instinct and try to find some good in Larry McLenn, some redeemable feature. Alice wanted to save him the pain and convince him there was none, but he would have to see that for himself. She could only warn him and be there for him no matter how it panned out and that was why she’d agreed to this insanity, even if she still didn’t feel it was her place.
A picture of Cillian, at the service this morning, came into her mind. She was sure he’d recognised her, yet he’d turned away. But before he did, there was something in his glance – fear, maybe? Why hadn’t he spoken to her? If Zac was someoneelse’s son, then he must know, surely? So many unanswered questions.
‘I think my biggest question is why Mum didn’t tell me,’ he went on. ‘She was always so honest and when I was growing up she told me time and time again that if I made a mistake I had to own up to it because that was the only way to make it right. And she held me to that. I mean, it’s not quite on the same level as this, but I can’t tell you how many times she marched me round to a neighbour’s house to apologise for booting the ball into their garden and damaging something, or round to a friend’s house if she thought I was out of line. Keeping something secret, not righting a wrong, it’s just not who she was and that gives me hope that there’s some innocent explanation for all of this. Am I crazy to think that?’
Alice’s neck was beginning to hurt with turning around in her seat, but she said, ‘No, not at all and I truly hope so too. I just don’t want you to be disappointed.’
‘I appreciate that.’ There was a pause, before Zac leaned forward until his seatbelt was straining. ‘Can I ask you something really personal? I totally understand if you’d rather not answer.’
Alice was desperate to say no, but of course… ‘Sure.’
‘I was just thinking how, if we’re right about this worst-case scenario and Larry McLenn is, you know…’
Alice realised he couldn’t say it out loud, but they both knew what he was referring to.
‘Well,’ he went on, ‘that would make me your son’s half-brother. How would he feel about that?’
Alice thought it over for a few seconds.
‘I think it might take him a beat to get used to the idea of Larry having yet another effect on his life…’ It sounded like Zac was holding his breath, so she followed up quickly with, ‘but I think he’d love it. He always wanted a brother and Rory is areally decent, good man. Obviously I’m biased, but he truly is. I think you’d like him. And I think he’d welcome you to the family. I would too.’
Zac cleared his throat. ‘Thank you. I hope, however this turns out, that I get to meet him some day. I always wanted a brother too. I just never thought it would be this way.’
A pause, before Alice brought up something else that was on her mind. ‘While we’re asking questions, have you thought about how it would affect your dad if you do uncover a connection to Larry? I have to guess that it would be devastating for him.’
She watched Zac sigh, as he slowly nodded his head. ‘I have. But if the date on the photo is correct, then he already knows the truth, so if I find out for sure that he’s not my biological father, then I guess I’ll decide then what to do about it. Maybe nothing at all. I don’t want anything in my life to change, and it won’t change how I feel about my dad – I just need to know for me.’
The car fell silent again, other than the low background music coming from the speakers – Tom Jones’ Greatest Hits, a classic according to Val – for a few moments, until Val gave her arm a nudge. ‘You okay there, Alice?’ she asked, and Alice thought again how much she’d miss her friend.
Right on cue, the opening bars of ‘The Green Green Grass of Home’ filled the air. She still hadn’t fully absorbed that home was going to be a completely different place after today.
‘I am. Thanks again for driving us, Val.’
‘My pleasure. Although, Zac…’ She glanced at her back seat passenger in the rear-view mirror. ‘Alice is right in everything she’s saying about Larry. He’s a bad one. There’s still time for me to stop and turn around…’
She didn’t get the rest of the sentence out because suddenly there was a massive bang, and then the Jeep lurched to one side, then began to spin… and spin… and the last thing Alice heard before it stopped was her own scream.
22
ZAC
