Page 49 of Legendary Rock Star
So I was up before dawn and spent hours with the band, and then in the studio by myself.
I had to hit every note. It was my time to shine.
Just outside the studio was the closet Phoenix and I had slipped into, and my lips tingled at the memory of his kisses. It should make me want to stop this train ride, but my heart raced as I thought of him.
I should be grateful he was gone. It had been fun, but I was here to win. I’d not let myself down.
I’d never settled in my life.
And besides, he hadn’t wanted me to go with him.
He’d walked away.
And I needed to chase my own dreams.
But I stopped for now. My voice was cracking because I was in need of lunch and water.
So I wiped my brow that was damp with sweat and headed back to the women’s dorm.
I showered and only thought of Phoenix’s magnetic kisses every three seconds. It was hard to forget him, but maybe I could slow down the vivid memories that were causing me to tremble.
I changed into the wardrobe that had been left for me and was priming my face for makeup when Jane, in her purple leather jacket, came to the mirror beside me.
“Maggie, can you tell Phoenix thank you again?” she asked.
My body flinched. I hadn’t expected that. I put my moisturizer down and asked, “For what?”
Jane continued patting her face with moisturizer as she said, “He’s been emailing us the best arrangements for our songs. I’m blown away with his rendition of my ’90s pop number. It might actually work for me now.”
Jane was an alto but they’d given her a song I’d love, meant for a soprano. I met her gaze in the mirror and said, “I didn’t know you’d even asked him for help, Jane.”
Her nose wrinkled as she stopped applying her moisturizer and said, “I think Finnigan, Sawyer and Rihanne all did, too. The band was learning our new versions all morning.” She zipped her makeup bag and asked, “Didn’t you ask him?”
“No,” I said, and my stomach knotted.
Her eyebrows arched as she cleaned up her station and tossed her tissues into the trash.
“Why not?” she asked. “Aren’t you in love with him?”
Yes. But love didn’t mean I had to give up on being me. On doing things my own way. I was here to win and he’d … he’d given up. I lifted my chin and said, “I’m here to win on my own. I don’t need his help.”
She shook out her long brown hair and then crossed her arms as she asked, “Why? He’s clearly in love with you. My ex wasn’t half as into me as Phoenix is with you.”
Phoenix was my childhood fantasy and he still made my heart stir, but if I didn’t try to win this on my own, then I was just another girl who gave up on her dreams to follow a guy. And I couldn’t be that.
But Jane and I weren’t exactly close enough that I wanted to explain it all to her. So I finished with my moisturizer and packed up my things as I said, “Well, you’re the biggest competition now. You’ve never been in the bottom three.”
She reached out to take my hand and said, “I’m here to follow my dream and be a star. If this doesn’t work out, I only prove to my daughter her mom’s a failure.”
“You’re not! And all of us will be going on that six-month tour.”
“But only one of us headlines and gets the recording contract.”
If Phoenix hadn’t been lying to me about Mark, I might have a backup if I lost this competition. I couldn’t count on it, though, so I held my tongue.
Jane fixed her black t-shirt and said, “Phoenix sure seemed to be in love with you. It made me hope that one day I’ll be smarter about men.”
“You seem brilliant to me,” I said. Jane never caused any drama. She was first up in the morning and never missed her schedule, which made her a flawless competitor as well as a good performer. I took a deep breath and said, “I’m doing this on my own.”
