Page 55 of Legendary Rock Star
And I went back to my studio to write down more songs that were springing out of me.
I must have slept at some point, because I woke up on my black leather studio couch, with sunshine spreading through the glass roof.
My face felt stiff. I glanced out at my lawn and then headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
I’d get coffee and start again soon.
Food held little appeal, not until I finished my ode to Maggie.
I finished making my coffee, feeling slightly cleaner in fresh clothes, and headed back to my studio where I found my phone ringing.
I stilled. The number was Vegas. I picked it up, knowing exactly who it was and said, “Mom, I didn’t expect you to call so soon.”
I heard vulnerability in her voice as she said, “We were always surrounded by people and cameras at the show. It was hard for your father and me to tell you what we wanted.”
There was more? I rubbed my face and turned away from the desk I was sitting at as I asked, “What was it?”
She had the same vibrations in her voice as she said, “You hurt us when you kicked us out of your life, but we were happy you had your aunt and uncle watching out for you. Your dad always knew his brother would be the one that turned out okay.”
Inside, I was still the teenager who saw my parents drinking all the time, ignoring whatever I did, while spending my money as fast as it hit the account. “You weren’t being responsible with my money.”
“We’re sorry about that.”
“Is that what you wanted to say?”
“No.”
I grabbed a water from the refrigerator in the studio and asked, “Then what?”
“We were both more upset that we lostyou. You were our only son and we were so stupid and self-centered, we didn’t see how wonderful you are.”
“Thanks,” I said. It would take me a while to process this, to decide if I believed her.
There was a pause, and then she added, “And I don’t know if you realize that your cousins are too proud to tell you what’s going on with them.”
“What’s happening?”
“Money is tight for them and Georgiana’s a single mom.”
“I’ll talk to them.” Georgie was one of my older cousins. I talked to her like she was my mini-mom whenever I had girl questions. If she was struggling, I’d help. “I didn’t know you were in touch with them.”
I took a sip of water and put the bottle down, as she said, “Georgie reached out first and wished us Merry Christmas a while back. She made me hope one day we’d get to apologize to you.”
That sounded like her. Georgie and my other cousins were the only people I considered family. Her parents had watched over me. Now I wanted to be there for her. I said, “Thanks for telling me.”
My mom said, “We all make mistakes, Phoenix. But we also have to find a way to bury them and move on.”
Now that shook my core, like she saw right through me. I hadn’t thought anyone ever could, but I couldn’t tell her that. Instead, I just said, “You have a bit of a poet in you, Mom.”
“I always thought you got your talent from me.”
And if they’d cared about me, then honestly, I needed that. Even if all it ever amounted to now were occasional phone calls. I turned toward my studio that always made me money as I asked, “Are you still taking prescription painkillers?”
“I’m in rehab. So is your father. Look … I … I’m not proud of what I did to you.”
“Mom, I forgive you.” But I could do more than that. They’d moved to Los Angeles for me and I’d never thanked them. I tossed them out.
“I hope we can see you again.”
