Page 60 of Legendary Rock Star
She looked up at me. “Is it okay that I still want to win?”
“Of course.”
She glanced around the studio at the equipment and spotted the song I’d been working on. She pointed to the screen, “’Alone at Christmas’?”
“Yeah.” I massaged the back of my head as I wasn’t sure what was going on. I said, “It’s the honest story of how I feel.”
She squared her shoulders and met my gaze as she said, “Phoenix, I came here to find out if you and I might work out, despite the differences in our lives.”
Adrenaline coursed through me as I asked, “What was that?”
She came toward me and took my hand in hers and said, “I came to see if you want me. I love you.”
She did? It was like a star had blasted into my heart and exploded to make it grow. I said, “I love you too. I want you to move in here. Hell, I’ll marry you if that’s what you want.”
“First I want to win, and then find out what happens next, after our six-month tour that we’re both contracted to be on. And I want us to be together because I can’t imagine my life without you anymore.”
I folded my fingers on hers. My skin buzzed. Seriously? She loved me too. I trembled a little as this wasn’t what I’d expected. But my gaze narrowed as I asked, “Why?”
She covered her lips and rocked on her feet. “Because I never felt the way I feel for anyone else, except you.”
My entire being wanted to kiss her again and hold her tight, but I held back. Her love was everything I ever wanted. But I wasn’t sure what to do next. I leaned back and accidentally turned on my recording equipment as I said, “You’re perfect, and I’ve made mistakes.”
I turned around to turn off the machines, but she hit the power button first. I turned toward her again as she said, “I’m hardly perfect. I made decisions without trusting my heart. What kind of perfect girl does that?”
“You were stressed, and I didn’t prove my words were true,” I said. I understood that part. I’d grown up seeing how stress ate up co-workers on that show I’d done as a child. “And I need to tell you about Fiona Desiree.”
Her face drained of color and she crossed her arms like she needed to hug herself as she asked, “Are you in love with her?”
I stepped closer and her skin against mine made my hair stand on its ends. “No. Not at all. I never was.”
She reached out and held my arms as she asked, “Then what?”
I licked my lips. This was painful to admit. I said, “I almost killed her. I drank that night and crashed the car. That’s why I got kicked out of Indigo 5 and ruined my life. It’s why I’ve felt guilty for years.”
She nodded like she could accept that, maybe even forgive it. Then she said, “Luckily you were both okay.”
Maybe I needed to forgive myself. If I was going to choose love over fear, then I needed to be honest. I lowered my head and said, “Fiona ended up in the ER, and had months of physiotherapy afterwards. I met with her yesterday to apologize.”
Her face contorted as she asked, “Was she hurtful like her words on the show?”
I massaged the back of my head and said, “No. I thought I had ruined her life. Turned out she had just happily retired.”
She shrugged, like I hadn’t said anything earthshattering. “She sang like herself the other night. I remember that song on the radio.”
“But I thought I’d ruined her life, and I promised myself to never hurt another singer’s chances.”
“It’s why you helped everyone on the show.”
I tried to understand how she could be so accepting.
But my heart changed its tune to a more dramatic ba-da-da-dum beat as she said, “I’m glad she’s okay, and you talked with her, so you don’t have to feel guilty anymore.”
I squared my shoulders and told her the entire sordid story. “When the accident happened, I … didn’t call the police. I called Mark, and he called them.”
“That wasn’t smart.”
“I’m not smart.” It was all in the past now, but I needed to tell her about my life so she understood the person she said she loved. “I wasted valuable seconds that mattered, and that guilt ate at me, until yesterday.”
