Page 18 of Cocky M.D.
He tugged me closer and asked, “So what is it you want from me?”
His hardness was right there pushing against me, and a thrill raced through me. I wanted him more than I wanted anything. Yet a lifetime of lessons played in my mind. I closed my eyes as I spoke my truth. “For you to be open to eventually finding out if we can love each other.”
He traced my lower back, almost like he wanted to brand me. “Love between a man and a woman is fantasy.”
Maybe we wouldn’t work out, but I needed to take a chance, and he needed me. “Do you think that because you were married before?”
He held me tight and hugged me for a moment then let me go. “Ruby and I were a contract deal, just as Britney would have been. While I want to make my own choice this time, I’m hoping you and I can come up with a contract.”
And I agreed to a deal I’d never expected in my life. I wanted him more than I’d wanted anyone ever and needed to get myself in check. Lust was all we had at the moment. If he wanted a deal, I wouldn’t demand love, but I needed it to be an option for one day.
Time usually fixed me. And I needed to be calm to negotiate and protect myself. I let myself out of his hold and crossed my arms. “Okay. I’m going to sleep in my apartment tonight. I’ll come back in the morning, and we can hammer out a contract. All my life, I’ve thought I’d marry for love. A contract means I don’t get that.”
His eyebrows rose. “That’s a tall order.”
I shrugged. “You asked what I wanted.”
He came toward me and held up my left hand. “I’m willing to let you believe in love. I already let Bradley believe his mother was a saint. Would that be enough?”
Part of me wanted to toss everything I’d ever wanted out the window just to be his. I went back and forth in my mind. “Living with false hope leads to a bad fall. We’ll hammer out our demands, and I’ll have a clear head.”
He kissed my knuckles. “Staying means you’re confused?”
Desire rushed through me. I pressed my hand on my heart as if we were in court. “I made a commitment to you today. I keep my word, always, but I need time, and I’m not ready for sex and signing a contract. I’ll get confused.”
He tugged on my sides and brought me closer. “I’m not a morning person.”
“I am. You’ll get used to me,” I said, and my eyes fluttered closed.
When he kissed me, I went back into being another person, one who felt nothing and everything at once. It was as if we were the only people in the world. I’d never wanted anyone else as much as I wanted Johnny.
Chapter Six
Johnny
Her lipsand body pressed to mine felt like perfection. Yet she’d headed to the door. Thunder boomed as she opened it and stepped outside.
I followed her and grabbed the door to stop her. “It’s storming out there. You can have a different bedroom.”
Her eyes were wide, like she was scared. She didn’t care that rain was sticking her shirt to her body and making it see-through. “I need time.”
If I let her leave, I was a complete asshole. I followed her as she ran out into the storm and headed toward the staff parking lot. The rain pelted me, cold and almost painful.
Olivia hopped into a brown car that must have been twenty years old. The lights came on as I stood back, but the engine didn’t turn over. She pressed her head to the steering wheel. I stepped forward so that she would see me.
She had tears in her eyes. I wished I understood her. I opened the door and offered my hand. “Olivia, you’re to be my wife. Please come inside with me.”
She took her key out of the ignition and stepped out with her shoulders slumped. “It’s broken.”
When I hugged her, I realized she was soaked through. I rocked her and said, “I’ll replace it in the morning.”
She leaned into me, and I wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off like an animal and have my way with her. As she was my fiancée, I would have thought she would be in my bed already.
I walked her back in and forced myself to go slowly. I’d taken her lifelong dream away, so I would give her time to come to terms we needed to make—even if she was as hot as hell.
As we crossed the threshold, she said, “I don’t have any clothes here.”
I walked her toward the stairs and said in a low voice, “Sleep in one of my shirts. And I’ll get Flo to find you some clothes.”
