Page 43 of Treasured
Shouldn’t? I didn’t understand her at all. I asked, “What are you talking about, Mary?”
She pressed her hand to her heart. “I am not the woman you need.”
I took a small step toward her and said, “Let me decide that.”
She covered her lips while she stared at me. For a moment, neither one of us said anything, and then she said, “You’re not really seeing me.”
In battle, panic never helped make a good decision. I held my palms faceup and said, “I have two eyes that are pretty sharp, according to my former superiors.”
She went up and down on her tiptoes, then crossed her arms and shook her head. “You’re not getting it, Dwayne.”
True. I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not getting what?”
She inhaled and then said, “I need to stop sleeping with you.”
What? I lost sensation in my hands and feet. “For tonight or forever?”
“Forever.” She lowered her head and headed back to the kitchen. “I can’t be responsible if something happens to you. It would be my fault.”
“Nothing happened to me, and I can take care of myself.” I followed her across the room. “Nothing happened to you or Bruce. Don’t think of sneaking out and putting you or that boy in danger, Mary.”
She flipped around my empty home with both her hands in the air, like I’d proven some point. “There you go. You’re perfect and sweet and amazing, and I don’t deserve that. I’m barely hanging on by a thread.”
Maybe if she would say everything, I would understand. When I made it across the kitchen counter from her, I asked, “What are you talking about?”
She squared her shoulders and said, “I’m breaking up with you, and you still care about my son’s safety and my own.”
I flinched, but I got it now. She wasn’t into me like I was her. A future relationship was all in my imagination, and that dream had just been trampled. I put my hands behind my back like I was in the military again. “It’s my job, Mary. I get today was trying for you, but don’t run out on me. I promised your brother and myself.”
She lowered her head, and her shoulders slumped. “I don’t deserve you.”
I leaned on the counter and brought myself to eye level with her. “Since when is love about what you deserve?”
She gripped the edge of the counter. “Don’t tell me you love me. I can’t handle that.”
“Okay.” She absolutely wasn’t on the same page as me. My heart twisted—a balloon about to pop. I stood up and said, “Look, you take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor out here as that’s preferable to a couch.”
“Why?”
“I slept on dirt as a Seal. I’ll wake you if I hear Bruce.”
She squeezed her eyes shut like I’d hurt her, but she backed up and said, “Dwayne, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Mary.” I headed into my room to grab a pillow since I had two. She followed me in. I held it and grabbed the extra blanket from my closet. “I’d never force you into anything you don’t want.”
I headed to the door so she could be alone, but then she said, “For the record, I want you to find a woman who loves you unconditionally.”
Damn, she knew how to tighten the screws near the valves of my heart.
“I wanted to be that for you, but I can’t be.”
“Good night,” I said and closed the door.
It was fine that she didn’t love me. I would handle that, but inside, I needed to deflate and find a way to cover up the wounds she’d pounded into me. I would live with rejection as long as she stayed safe. Maybe one day, Mary and Bruce might be happy on their own and remember me. It was all I’d have left.
Chapter Sixteen
Mary
