Page 28 of Handsome
He placed his hand on my lower back and my body steamed from his touch as he asked, “What’s that? Money?”
He cradled Joshua in his other arm, so I reached across him to cup the baby's downy little head and said, “No. I’d want a close, loving family. And I like the idea of adoption, where I can help a child in need not be… alone.”
He guided me to the door and then a path as he said, “You’d be great. Anything else?”
Guess it was time to go. I put my hands behind me and stayed next to him as I said, “Well, truthfully, not working at a diner has given me time to get plenty of sleep on a nice bed.”
He winked. “Good.”
For a second, I wondered what being his bed would feel like. I imagined him in bed beside me, waking me up with a soft kiss. I shook my head, like that might help dissipate the vibrant colors of my fantasy, as I said, “And workwise, being a nanny to my nephew is giving me time to figure out whether I love anything enough to pursue it.”
He placed his hand over his heart and said, “I thought you were going to pursue me more seriously.”
I sucked in my giggle and instead teased, “Well, I’ll think about it… after this next dance class. Don’t want to get so distracted I step on your toes.”
A ship with two people working on deck was on the same dock where we waved off his parents the other day. And it was about the same size, so there was probably plenty of room downstairs for the three of us.
He said, “Don’t let me get away. You’d be sorry.”
I found myself bouncing along while I walked beside him. So far today was an unexpectedly good moment, but I crossed my arms and said, “How can I believe in this conversation when we both know you only offered me this job because you want to save me?”
He asked, “Do you need saving?”
My heart pounded. I hadn’t meant to bring that up. I swallowed fast and then said, “No, I’ve always been fine.”
We walked on deck, and he waved to the staff on our way inside, where he directed me to a small corner with a bassinet, where he put the baby down and he continued to sleep.
Then Cyrus straightened and said, “Well, I want us to work together… partly because it’s obvious you love Joshua.”
If I interpreted his pause correctly, he’d changed whatever he originally intended to say. However, I didn’t ask, and instead just nodded and said, “Right, and he’s also why I’m here.”
He stood next to me, and our arms brushed as the ship swayed gently. My scalp tingled with goose bumps as he said, “And I’d never take what’s not offered.”
He could have me. Desire raced through me, head to toe, but I said, “I just don’t want to stop you from living your life… to the fullest.”
The ship’s engines rumbled to life, and the captain blasted the horn.
My first trip that didn’t start and end with the subway. I walked to the window and gazed out at the water, soothed by the boat's gentle rocking motion.
Cyrus was a such sweet man.
I glanced over my shoulder to find out he was staring at me, and tingling awareness zipped along my skin as he asked, “Are you telling me to go out and date?”
Rocks formed in my gut. And my throat tightened, but I nodded and said, “Maybe. We can only ever be employer/employee.”
He came closer, and every step sent another thrill through me as he asked, “Really?”
If he kept this up, I’d break. I knew it in my soul. I offered him my hand to shake and said, “And friends.”
He picked my hand up and kissed it.
My whole body pulsed in reaction.
Then he said, “Well I’d like to start there… as friends. Because I do like you.”
“I like you too,” I whispered.
I ached to kiss him. I wished I could, but fairy tales were for kids, and I learned the hard way that life was always hard, except for the glittering exceptions that, when they burned out, destroyed you.
