Page 53 of Handsome
I was all nerves right now, but I didn’t move as I said, “That I’m falling in love with you.”
She shook her head. “You just want someone who's here for Joshua.”
I put my hand on her hip and said, “He’s a part of me, but no. I selfishly want you all for myself, and it has doesn’t have a damn thing to do with my son.”
Then she kissed me sweetly.
In time she’d realize how wonderful we were together.
I’d prove it.
29
Sarah
Tears streaming down my face and a runny nose were not my best look. At least that's what my family would tell me right now.
But finally the tears stopped, so when I wiped my face, my cheeks were only stained from the earlier ones.
I met Cyrus’s gaze and wished I hadn’t told him. Well, not really. He needed to know but talking about the past was like I just took a knife and shoved it into my own gut, leaving me openly bloody and wounded.
There was no way someone like him would end up with someone like me. I took a few breaths, but then we both heard our phones go off.
Joshua was awake.
Cyrus got up and said, “I’ll take a turn with Joshua. Why don't you take a shower, and then we’ll get some rest?”
Clean myself up. Got it.
I rubbed my forehead and realized that was a horrible thought, and unfair to Cyrus. He wasn’t anything like anyone else, and he’d given me time to recover while he took a turn with his own son.
The shower helped my brain and body relax, and it was like the bleeding from my soul had slowed down to a trickle.
I found a nightshirt and slipped it on, but then I gripped the vanity edge in the bathroom and said to myself, “It has been a long night.”
As I opened the bathroom door, I heard Cyrus in the other room and Joshua’s happy little noises.
I held my hand over my heart and said, “We answer to no one… except Joshua.”
“I’ll be right here if you need me.” Cyrus said to his boy, but it was like he meant for me to hear it, too, through the side door.
I brushed my hair and sat on the edge of the bed while he rocked Joshua.
I listened and soon the baby was silent. He must have gone back to sleep.
His new life would be a far better one, and he’d never remember what my sister once said to him when she’d been drinking. I’d hated leaving to go back to my job because, despite how smart she’d been, Leah never seemed to have much interest in soothing her own baby. I mumbled to myself, “He’s a lucky little boy. My sister had no idea how close Cyrus and his family are. She probably marked him simply because he's so rich.”
Cyrus’s voice behind me interrupted my musings, “Why are you telling yourself things we already know?”
I pivoted on the edge of the bed and asked, “You heard me?”
“Yeah,” he said, and then sat beside me.
I handed him a glass of water and poured one for myself. He’d been smart to bring up the tray earlier.
For a minute we sat in silence. Once I finished my glass, the back of my neck still felt hot when I said, “I was feeling guilty because part of me thinks I was using you when I came here.”
He reached over me and put his empty cup on the tray, saying, “I don’t mind at all, but why would you think that?”
