Page 55 of Handsome
I realized as I let her rest that she already had my entire heart. It wasn’t just in the heat of the moment sex. I was absolutely in love with her.
31
Sarah
A few days later
Night and day with Cyrus, where all our needs were taken care of while we swam, walked, played garden horseshoes, read to each other, and enjoyed each other and Joshua every second we could, made the prospect of leaving here hard.
However, the crew finished loading the ship while I rocked Joshua and finished my tea at the makeshift table on the dock.
The sky was clear, and everything was heavenly. Cyrus had talked on the phone for at least an hour and now paced back and forth on the beach.
My body lit up like a plugged-in Christmas tree when Cyrus strode across the beach in my direction, and I stood up, holding Joshua like he was my life preserver.
When Cyrus joined us, I said, “It’s going to be hard to leave.”
He walked us toward the ship and said, “We can come right back after Warren’s birthday party.”
He hopped on and then helped me, holding me and Joshua tight, like he was ready to protect us from everything. Then he let me go.
I shaded my eyes from the blazing sun, holding Joshua so it didn't hit him, and said, “I’ll need to handle some business, so it’s okay that our vacation is over.”
He nodded and then directed the captain to leave port. When he returned to my side he said, “We can go wherever you want.”
Decisions. I wasn’t even sure if I should stay with him and do my job. I avoided meeting his eyes and said, “I can’t think about that. First I need to deal with the fallout from deaths of my sister and brother.”
He held the door for me to go inside, away from the heat of the day, and said, “I can have my brother Jeff on point for you with whatever you need.”
“The lawyer?” I asked as it was hard to remember which one was which, even after hearing a lot of his stories.
He nodded, and my skin cooled from the air conditioning while he said, “It makes it easier to coordinate the paperwork.”
Joshua started making noises and we both ran to the galley to grab a bottle.
Cyrus hovering near me made me wonder if he wanted to rescue me or if he truly loved me.
I wasn’t sure, but I refused to ask, and instead said, “I’d like that. More time to spend with Joshua.”
His phone rang. He tensed like it was important but handed me the bottle from the fridge as he said, “And once everything is sorted out, we’ll figure out where to go next.”
Good. Making decisions wasn't one of my top skills, especially right now, since I wasn’t sure if I was free to love him, or if I’d end up staying and eventually becoming my mother or my sister.
We started back to the main room as I put the bottle in Joshua’s mouth, though I whispered, “This morning I thought about telling you I was leaving.”
While we returned to the main room of the yacht, where we spent most of our days, he said, “I’m glad you started in the past tense, but can I ask why?”
We left a day earlier than expected to avoid a brewing storm, but my pulse spiked right now, and I wasn’t sure how to calm down as I said, “Because maybe I’ve been living in hiding for so long that I don’t know what I feel or want. So I’m working on it.”
His phone rang. He took it out of his back pocket and said, “Let me know if I can do anything to help.”
I needed to sort out my head and my heart. I shook my head and said, “Oh you’ve done more than enough.”
Then he showed me his phone and asked, “Can you get Joshua settled on the ship? I’ll be right outside for a few minutes.”
“You can count on me,” I said, and curled into the seat near the window where we’d had sex before going onto the island. The memory replayed in my mind as he walked out of this room and into the one where we danced.
I needed to clear my head too and figure out how to move on from my past. Maybe then I’d be able to figure out how I feel about Cyrus, other than knowing he's a handsome, a total sweetheart, and everything I’d ever want in a man.
