Page 58 of Crying Shame
I wanted to tell her that we needed to be exclusive, but first I needed to explain her job duties. “You can take a preliminary run at organizing client requests, so we have data on due dates, client expectations, and matching clients with our employees. I set a budget, and the tech department can build you a database.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow.”
Fuck me.I needed to discuss the trust I'd set up for her and what I was doing for her, but I shrugged. “So be ready to put in demands.”
Her lips quirked upward. “Norouzis are always looking to automate.”
My family had discussed various ideas they had for investments, but I needed to nudge this conversation in the right direction. “Efficiency means we have more time to relax, and that includes you.”
“I’m not a Norouzi.” She sipped her tea. “There is a human component, though. And most of us don’t get a golden parachute.”
“You do.”
“No, I’ve been hustling.”
We all chose what sort of money we'd earn in our lifetime. No one taught that at school, but we all figured out our worth and took jobs at the salary we expected. It took a lot of change for someone to go above their perceived value. This wasn’t the time for heavy conversation, though. “How much would you need to not stress?”
“I’d guess I’d have to earn millions, but that won’t happen.”
“Because you like being poor?”
“Why are you being pigheaded about cash? Let’s talk about work before I want to toss something at your head and storm out of here.”
“I’ve never seen you mad at me.” I wasn’t helping my cause. I needed to be more relaxed, which meant changing the topic. “The same argument has been made for centuries of innovations on why we keep the old ways, but time creates needs where we all fit in. So it’s best to focus on you, Sam, and me—and how you and me are more than friends.”
She sipped more of her tea and sat back. “Tell me something funny that happened to you after I left college.”
I sat back in my chair and twisted my body. Heat rushed to my cheeks. I'd made a mess of this conversation, but she was clearly dodging my comment about us being more than friends. “I’m not good at being funny.”
Her lips were half raised, and she sighed. “That’s exactly why I need to know.”
I closed my eyes. I wasn’t like my brothers, who went out and sought adventure. My heart stirred, and I settled on one story. I scooted forward. “Well, after I finished my three-year program for undergrad and before I started medical school, I decided to spend some alone time in the Sahara desert.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”
I shrugged. “It’s in all the books. It’s where people go to find themselves and face their fears.”
She took my hands. “Wasn’t it dangerous?”
Heat rushed through me. When she’d known the old me, I’d been so careful to not make waves. I still didn’t. Being a doctor and a business owner proved I was stable. “Yeah. I thought about you and how you’d left that first year of college. I really accepted I was entirely to blame.”
She stared into her flowered pink teacup that the staff had managed to find for her. “I knew you had money and could support Sam way better than I could. I get some of the blame.”
This wasn’t the way I wanted our conversation to go. I scooted closer to her. “Don’t think that. Anyhow, in the desert, the camel I’d bought decided he was done. I tried to get him to continue moving forward one night, but he spit in my face.”
Her lips quirked, but she hid her face in her hands. I tilted mine to try to see her expression and smiled. “You are laughing.”
“A little.” She reached out and held her hand against my face. “You still sound upset about it. What did you do next?”
Fair enough. Cyrus could dance with the woman he loved all night long, and Charlie was up for one adventure after another, but I was different. I took a deep breath. “So I set up camp, and less than an hour later, we were facing a sandstorm.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh no.”
The night I'd stayed in a tent with a mask on was unforgettable. “It was good the camel stopped because while the air was full of sand and dust, nothing happened to us. We were in the perfect place.”
She finished her tea. “Animals know best.”
I poured us more tea. “I realized the truth of that statement, and I learned I can’t force my will all the time even when I want to.”
