Page 53 of Hoodoo House
“Then, I repeat—what are you so afraid of?”
Declan closed his eyes. “That if I admit to him that I’m in love with him and he finds out how fucked up I am, he’ll run.”
She leaned forward in her chair. “From what you’ve told me he probably already knows how fucked up you are, and he still seems to want to be with you. Frankly, that has me far more worried about him than you.”
Declan laughed.
“And how would you feel if you did nothing and he found someone else? He can’t wait for you forever. How do you think it would feel working with him then?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do.”
Declan shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“What is it?” she asked.
“What if something happens to him? I mean, something really bad?”
“You mean what happens if he gets hurt or killed?”
“Yes,” Declan whispered.
Michael looked towards the flowers. “Charlie could get hit crossing the street, or just wind up in the wrong place at the wrong time. There’s nothing you can do to prevent that. He’s got to make his own decisions.”
She paused until Declan looked up at her. “You can spend your whole life worrying about the worst-case scenario, or you can let both of you make the decision. Too many people miss out on too much life because they’re afraid to take a risk. My recommendation—tell him the truth.”
Declan closed his eyes again and clenched his lips.
“But that’s not what this is about, is it?” Michael asked.
Declan knew what she was getting at, but he wasn’t ready to say it.
“I know you well enough to know that you don’t run away from anything. That’s how you’ve gotten each and every one of those scars on that body of yours. In fact, you seem to get some weird pleasure out of putting yourself in positions where you get the shit kicked out of you. It seems like you think that if you’re in physical pain, you won’t have to deal with your emotional pain. Declan, I think for once it’s time that you put yourself in the way of being emotionally hurt.”
“Emotional hurt is what brought me here in the first place.”
“And you’ve been running from it since you were a child. Time for tough talk. You need to face up to your feelings towards Charlie like the other things you’ve faced over the years. And if you can’t deal with it, then maybe you should consider severing ties before you hurt him. Whatever you decide, the sooner you do something, the better.”
Declan stared down at the floor. In his heart, he knew what he had to do.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Charlie sat at Declan’s desk. He liked the feeling of being at his own desk, in his own private office, interviewing his own clients. He began to type up his report on the Cody White interview. First impressions—he had been nervous, and not just because he was being interviewed. Cody had chewed his fingernails down to the quick and, from the dried blood on some of his cuticles, he had been doing so for some time. Also, Cody had seemed more concerned about his mother than himself…
Charlie continued transcribing his written notes, ensuring that the key points were captured in detail, then he began to listen to the recording he’d made. There might be something more in that. By the time he was finished, Charlie had compiled a hefty document of what had transpired. He would show Declan that he could handle situations like this on his own.
Charlie looked at the time on his phone. It was almost six o’clock and there had still been no response from Declan. He tapped out a quick message.
Just checking. Did you get my last text about Cody White and Tull and Monarch? Is everything okay?
Charlie hoped there would be an immediate ping back, but nothing. This was important. Why wasn’t Declan answering him? No point in worrying. Maybe he was just running late from whatever his other business was, but Charlie wanted to be here when he got back.
To distract himself, Charlie thought back on what Cody had said about meeting Tull on an S&M online hookup site. Charlie wondered if he could find which one Tull had used, and what it might tell Charlie about him. He hadn’t thought to ask Cody which site it was, so he’d have to do a bit of digging. In a matter of minutes Charlie had discovered five popular sites. He went onto the top-ranked one,Chaps-n-Slaps, and discovered that to access any of the user profiles, he had to create an account. Charlie settled onComputerHustleras his username.
He was surprised to find that there were close to a thousand members in Alberta. There was a range of profiles, but to get detailed pictures or information, the user had to request permission from the person they were interested in. As Charlie surfed through the profiles, he discovered that one of the users wasSmoothStud123. Next he looked forBakuBondageBoy, Tull’s email username. There he was. This was the site! Charlie was on a roll.
“Well, let’s see how lucky I am,” he said to himself.
