Page 20 of Needed in the Night
Gods above, I was utterly lost.
Acting as a kind colleague and bodyguard during a shopping trip with Isla was not precisely the opposite of what Nubo had ordered me to do, but damned close. Isla had asked me to go with her, though, and if he overheard the conversation, surely I could not be faulted for giving in. She hadpleadedwith me. If I refused, been unkind, that might be more suspicious than agreeing.
And more importantly, why did Isla want me to go with her to the market? If it was not because she was truly shaken, what might her motive be? I did not know, but I must find out.
“I do need a few items.” I glanced down at my bare chest. “Give me a few minutes to change.”
My attire—or lack thereof—was perfect for tending bar, and probably would not raise any eyebrows at the local market, but I did not want to attract attention I would be forced to rebuff. My hearts, body, and soul belonged to Isla alone.
“Oh, thank you so much, Mikas.” Her smile returned. “You’re so kind. Take your time. I’ll wait in my apartment.”
I gave her a brusque nod. “All right.”
Once she returned to relative safety, I entered my own living quarters. With the door shut and locked against prying eyes and ears, I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath.
Safely away from the bar, perhaps I could…hintat how I felt. See if she might find my attentions agreeable. The prospect made my hearts race.
Right behind my rush of anticipation came trepidation. She thought of me as a friend. Iwasher friend. If she did not want more than that, I risked losing our friendship.
For months, I had stood on this precipice, teetering on its edge, buffeted on every side by desires, dangers, and unease.Beyond lay the joy of life with my true mate, or a plunge into nothingness.
I took a deep breath, exhaled, and snarled at myself.
I had served as a soldier. Fought on battlefields on distant worlds and risked my life—and nearly died—for causes far less precious to me than Isla. If I could do that, I could do this. I could take this step.
First, though, I had to change my pants and put on a shirt.
CHAPTER 7
ISLA
Our tripto the market was the first time Mikas and I had socialized outside working hours.
I didn’t really need a bodyguard for this outing. This sector of the city was relatively safe and very busy. Floating globes provided soft light, drawing nighttime insects and ensuring no dark corners where danger could lurk. But I had some questions for Mikas—questions that required us to leave our building, where Nubo’s surveillance meant everything we said or did was seen or overheard. And I wanted to get to know him better, maybe even find out who he really was when he wasn’t being a bartender or bouncer.
WhowasMikas Auren? Even after three months and a hundred conversations, I couldn’t really say I knew, and that bothered me. A lot.
Despite his height and the length of his legs, Mikas kept his pace even with mine so I didn’t have to scurry to keep up. In fact, whenever I paused to marvel at something, he stopped too. And I marveled ateverything.
Most cities on Fortusia, including this one, embraced eco-architecture, blending artificial construction with trees, grasses, gardens, and even rivers and waterfalls. Onat’ras had as many beautiful natural spaces as buildings, streets, and walkways. While large cities I’d visited on other planets were urbanized to the point of being nearly devoid of any wildlife or plants, here animals roamed the parks and soared overhead. The air smelled fresh rather than full of urban odors that burned my eyes or made me sneeze. If I had to live in hiding, Fortusia was at least a wondrous place to be.
At night, countless species of insects sang, buzzed, and glowed, dancing in the breeze among pedestrians and vehicles. Brae ate so well here that he’d gotten plump. We’d had too many dangerous and lean years for me not to enjoy thethumphe made when he landed on furniture in my apartment, or the way his butt wiggled when he got ready to fly.
Tonight, my walk with Mikas from our building took us past one of my favorite locations: a waterfall that cascaded from a nearby tower and plunged twenty meters into a small lake.
With Mikas trailing behind, I left the busy walkway and crossed the damp, fragrant grass to the low stone border along the lake’s edge. The wind shifted, bringing with it the scents of flowers and foliage and the cool mist from the waterfall. I closed my eyes, tilted my head back to feel the moisture on my face, and inhaled the sweet, familiar smell of Fortusia’s pink-tinged fresh water. Heavenly.
In moments like this, I could almost forget why I’d come here in the first place and what I’d had to give up after my mission on Ngara blew up in my face.
The first month after I’d left my job as a Web operative, and even after I arrived on Fortusia, I’d struggled mightily to adjust to not being an operative anymore. Guilt and restlessness and nightmares about Ergin’s terrible death led to miserable days and sleepless nights.
But with each passing day—with every singing shift I worked and every evening I spent talking with Mikas over brandy and berries—my unhappiness, regret, and guilt faded to a dull ache that eventually gave way to a new yearning.
Now more than anything I wanted a home. Peace and quiet. Stability, safety, and happiness. To sing five nights a week, wear lovely dresses, earn good money, and watch Brae get fat on insects. All the things life as a Web operative would never allow. When I pictured Brae and I with our own home, I could convince myself I’d done enough for the Web and making a new life was possible.
The waterfall’s sweet vapor cooled my face and the wind smelled of flowers. All my memories of cages and plasma rifle wounds seemed light-years and a lifetime away. I licked my lips to taste the cool mist.
Mikas made an odd sound. Had he just taken a shaky breath?
