Page 103 of A Brush with Love
“That there’s nothing here for me,” he said, his green eyes flashing up to pierce into hers.
Harper didn’t know what to say. She wanted to cry. She wanted to take back every cruel word she’d said to him, all the ugly parts of herself she’d exposed him to. She suddenly realized how much she wanted to be his reason to stay.
“Nothing?” she pressed out.
“My mom has decided to sell the practice. With everything…”With you…The unspoken words hung between them. “I realized it’s time for me to stop pretending. To stop walking around in a life that isn’t meant for me.”
“But—but…” Harper wasn’t sure what she even wanted to say. He stared at her the entire time she searched for words, his cool gaze trapping every protest in her throat. It felt like nothing shortof rejection. He was leaving. She was being left. It was exactly what she’d asked for.
“What are you going to do in New York?” she heard herself ask.
“I begged for my old job back,” he said.
“And you got it?” she asked incredulously.
Dan let out a humorless laugh. “No. But I was always on good terms with my boss. He was surprisingly understanding. He gave me a position that’s about ten steps down from the level I’d been at, but a job is a job, and it’s something I actually want to do.”
Harper nodded weakly, every muscle in her body going numb. She didn’t know how to process any of this. “And you have a place to live?”
“I’m renting a room for a bit and then moving into an apartment at the start of the month.”
“When do you leave?”
“As soon as I finish loading up the truck,” Dan said, scrubbing his knuckles along his jaw. “Which is taking longer than I thought. Alex is supposed to be helping but he keeps stopping, saying he needs to ‘process his feelings.’”
“Wow,” Harper managed to say, sucking in her lips and nodding quickly. She felt the urge to flee.
At the same time, she wanted to tell him.
Holy shit, did she want to tell him. Tell him she knew she’d fucked up. She knew shewasfucked up.
But fear gripped her, the inevitability of rejection paralyzing her. Because, really, who could love someone like her?
“Well, I guess this is goodbye, then,” she managed to say, blinking back tears she didn’t want to burden him with.
And then, like anidiot,she stuck out her hand to shake his.
A handshake?she screamed at herself.Really?
Dan stared down at her outstretched hand, and something in his cool demeanor broke. His eyes lifted to hers, vulnerable and honest.
“Harper,” he whispered.
There was too much in the way he said it. It seemed impossible that so much could saturate the whispered sound of her name. Those two syllables threatened to break her apart. She wanted to fling herself at him, tell him not to leave her. Tell him she was wrong. Tell him how sorry she was.
But, just as she was about to lose all control and do that, his words from earlier rang through her ears.
There’s nothing here for me.
Grasping at one last shred of dignity, Harper dropped her hand, gave him a weak smile, and left.
CHAPTER 36
DAN
MARCH
It took about six weeks, but Dan eventually found a rhythm to surviving with his heart beating outside his chest. He became somewhat of an expert on pain: its nuances, its complexities.
