Page 10 of The Plus One
“If the actors knew how hard you are to please, they’d probably cherish that admission more than any of their Emmys.”
Jude rolled his eyes as he walked to the fridge and grabbed a water.
“So, uh, next episode?” he said as casually as possible, stepping over Collin’s long, outstretched legs to take his seat back on the couch.
“Thought you’d never ask, superfan,” Collin said, cueing up the next episode. Jude grunted in response.
They got through the first few minutes before Collin paused the show, turning to Jude.
“I’m really glad you’re here,” Collin said, smile earnest. “I’ve missed you.”
And dammit if Jude didn’t almost break down into hysterical sobs right then and there. What was it about the simplest comments that had the power to break down every wall?
“Of course,” he said, tongue thick and mouth numb as he tried to shrug past the tiny crack fissuring through his chest. “You know I wouldn’t miss your wedding.”
“I know. But it still makes me happy you’re here.”
Jude didn’t know what to say without turning his heart inside out with all the feelings weighing it down, so he nodded and took a sip of his water.
“And… everything’s good? With you?” Collin asked, his voice dripping with false casualness. “You’re doing okay with the GHCO job and stuff?”
Dammit. Jude hated this question.
There weren’t really words for just how not okay he was, but if he pretended hard enough to be, he wouldn’t have to face that truth.
“I’m fine,” Jude lied, pushing the words through his clenched teeth as he peeled at the label on his water bottle with his thumb. “The position has given me plenty of opportunities to put my specialty to use.”
And plenty of opportunities to fail hundreds of people.
Jude used to love being a doctor. It’d been his dream since he’d found out it was a profession. Emergency surgery in particular held a spark, a high, almost spiritual in its intensity, and Jude had worked toward it with undeterred focus through med school and his first year of hospital-based residency.
There was no feeling more powerful than being the sole reason a life was saved, being witness to the hidden brokenness of a body and knowing how to fix it, and Jude had chased the rush of it.
But not anymore. He didn’t lust after that power now, but ran from it, knowing it was the most terrifying thing a person could face.
“Okay,” Collin said, dragging the word out, another question following close behind. “But if you want to talk—”
Luckily, Indira’s voice cut through the precarious conversation, sharp and piercing.
“Collin!” she yelled, her feet slapping the steps as she ran down them.
Acting on impulse, Jude jumped up, moving to the foot of the stairs, a familiar surge of fear punching along his spine, part of him pulled toward the sound of someone needing help, the other part wanting to sprint away from the noise. Indira stopped two steps from the bottom, tears in her eyes and her mouth twisted as she gave him a confused but challenging look.
“Uh, move, please,” she said, nose crinkling and eyebrows furrowing as she pushed past him into the living room.
His body was slow to catch up to the fact that he was standing in Collin’s entryway—not under attack, not in danger—and he tried to shake off the fog.
“Glad to see you’re making so much progress with your manners,” Jude mumbled.
He was finding that annoyance was one of the easier emotions to lean into, especially with Indira. The sensation was so familiar around her, it bordered on comforting. Not nearly as terrifying as allthe other feelings that were trying so desperately to kick down the doors in his mind.
Indira whipped her head around to look at him, profile limned in the soft light seeping through the windows. She licked her full lips, giving him a pretty smile that, for some bizarre reason, made his pulse punch against his skin.
“How clever, Satan,” she said, the smile curling into something sinister. “But I don’t have the energy to pretend to listen to you today.”
She turned back around, stomping to the couch and plopping next to Collin, leaving Jude looking like a fool trying to come up with something to say.
Jude was discovering that one of his newest issues with Indira— on the very long list—was that she’d grown up to be terrifyingly beautiful, and it regularly caught him off guard. She was all long-limbs and graceful curves, her mass of hair framing her face like a flower in bloom.
