Page 31 of The Plus One
A startled laugh bubbled from Jude’s throat. Indira’s head whipped to him, her eyes on his mouth. He watched her smile bloom.
“I feel like a dick,” Jude admitted, gesturing toward the bar. “I want to support them. I came back to support them. Collin’s my bestfriend, and he’s always been there for me, you know? I don’t want to miss all these important moments because I’m so fucked up.”
Indira looked away, something flashing in her eyes.
She cleared her throat. “Is there anything I—we—can do to make it easier? I can talk to them. See if they can cancel one of the forty additional parties they have planned or something. Or tone them down.”
“Don’t,” Jude said, voice far too loud. Way too rough. Indira jumped.
“Sorry,” he said, softer this time. “But don’t tell them. I don’t… I don’t want to distract from their wedding. I don’t… I guess I don’t want them to know.”
“They wouldn’t want you hurting like this,” Indira said, eyebrows furrowing.
“I…” Jude didn’t know what to say. He knew his friends wouldn’t want him feeling this way, falling to pieces at moments that were supposed to be joyous. But there wasn’t any fixing it, so why include them in the consuming guilt?
“This helped,” Jude said, gesturing around the alley. “Being around you has helped.”
Indira went silent, and Jude cleared his throat, awkwardness wedging them apart.
“Speaking of hurting,” Jude said, oh-so-casually delivering that drastic change in subject. It was uncomfortable to admit how lost he was, that he’d never find his way back. He needed a break from talking about it. “I can’t believe you haven’t lost your shit on your ex with all the groping he’s been doing. That level of maturity isn’t like you.”
Indira let out an indignant gasp, jaw falling open as her gaze whipped toward him. Jude tried to hide his smile, but it was impossible. She narrowed her eyes at him in a withering glare, but her own smile won out, and she let the subject switch.
“I mean, in all honesty,” she said, “it’s taking what very limitedself-control I have to not go into a complete meltdown every time I see them. And there’s still so many more things Jeremy and Collin have planned for the wedding party.”
“I’m, uh, sorry things didn’t work out,” Jude said, staring down at his shoes. He was surprised to discover it was a bold-faced lie. But some weird, selfish, foreign part of him was kind of…gladthat she wasn’t pining after Chris. He wasn’t sure what that meant. Probably just a protective thing from having known her for so long.
“Don’t be,” Indira said with a flick of her wrist, the smallest hint of sadness in her voice. “The only thing that hurts is my pride at this point. It’s rather mortifying to walk in on your boyfriend hooking up with someone else. But it’s probably for the best.”
“You don’t hope to reconcile things?” Jude asked, his heart hammering like a hummingbird’s wings in his chest.
“Hell no,” Indira said, tugging at one of her curls. “I’m done with relationships for the time being. It’s the last thing I want.”
Oh.
That was… a statement. A pretty innocuous one. So why did Jude’s rusted-shut heart simultaneously jump and sink at it?
“I wish I didn’t have to see them parading around while I’m standing like a loner in the corner, though,” Indira continued. “It doesn’t help to be the only one of my friends single too. Would be nice to have a date just to distract from all the disgusting displays of affection happening around me.”
A small, dangerous idea blinked into existence in Jude’s brain, then ping-ponged around his skull. It was a bad idea.
So. Bad.
Knowing this didn’t stop his damn mouth from opening, though.
“I could… I don’t know, pretend to be your boyfriend when Chris is around, or something?” Jude blurted out. He pressed his shaky palms hard into the brick wall behind him.
Indira looked at him, her face twisted into something between confusion and disgust.
Well… ouch.
“To like, keep you distracted, or whatever. Give you an excuse to get away from all the adoring couples or… I don’t know. Someone to dance with at the wedding…”
“I’ve seen your dancing, Jude, so I’m not sure why you’re framing that as an incentive.”
Jude rolled his eyes, then bumped his shoulder against hers.
“Fine. No dancing. You’d probably crush my toes with your giant feet anyway.”
