Page 28 of Well, Actually
I let out a wet laugh, shaking my head, then biting my lip hard.
“But in the name of unconditional honesty,” he says softly, “I wanted to bring it up with you.”
Holy fuck. Is Rylie Cooper… actually showing consideration for other people?
“I get it,” I croak. “And you’re totally right. Thank you for bringing it up.”
Cooper continues to look at me, each moment measured by the heavy thud of my heartbeat. I swallow, looking away and pulling my hand from his. “Should we get started?”
“Are you asking me if I’m ready for my public slaughtering?” he asks, face grim. Then he smiles. “Hell yeah. Let’s do it.”
He snaps into motion, getting up to adjust the camera on its tripod. He posts the full recordings on YouTube and puts snippets on other social media platforms, and he’s agreed to give Soundbites access to the footage for similar promotion and use on their channels.
I take a steadying breath, remembering why we’re here, why this matters. If I do this, play into this game, show what a good little soldier I am to Landry and, by extension, William, I’ll get that promotion. I’ll gobble down my last hot dog and flip the bird toSausage Talk, covering real stories instead. I can do this.
After a quick sound check and Cooper giving me the rundown of his intro, he cues up the recording and launches in. He mentions two sponsors, and I try to weed out if he sounds particularly desperate during that part, remembering he has some skin in this game too. He then gives a brief recap on the outrageous events of the past week-plus, even offering me a particularly kind bio: “While you may know Eva Kitt as the host ofSausage Talk, she also writes incredible pieces on her Babble platform. Seriously, I encourage everyone to check her stuff out.”
I try to cool the golden ball of satisfaction in my chest from his praise. I don’t need a man to hype me up.
Finally, Cooper lets out a deep breath, pretending to be winded. “… Which brings us…”
“Here,” I say, a snarky curl to my smile as I gesture around.
“I’m tempted to imitate the Paul-Rudd-on-Hot-Ones meme,” Cooper says, grinning at me.
“How original.”
His smile doesn’t waver. “That’s what I love about you, Eva, you’re just so easy to please.”
“You’re really setting me up nicely to talk about the disaster of ourdate,” I say, using air quotes around the last word.
“Why delay the inevitable?” His voice and body language drip with easy confidence. Fuck. Why is he being so chill about this? “Do you want to start or should I?”
“That’s a dangerous door you’re leaving open for me,” I say with an amoral smile. “But I’ll go in if you’re ready.”
He waves me on, a delightful mix of fear and enjoyment playing across his face.
“Well, dear listeners,” I begin, pressing close to the micand lowering my voice in a parody of his. “The date started with a car crash.”
“It didn’tstartwith the car crash,” Cooper says, leaning toward me.
“Fine, it started with you showing up with a giant hired SUV like we aren’t in the midst of a climate crisis and then five minutes later the car crash happened. Is that a more accurate timeline for your liking?”
There’s a weighted pause.
“Yes,” he reluctantly mumbles.
I paint the picture of the sevenA.M.champagne cork to the jugular and the near death-by-stilettos walk of shame (because I was walking in a public place next to him). “I will at least give you credit that the art museum was amazing.”
“I knew you’d like that,” Cooper says, absolutely glowing. I hold up my hand to silence him, but he’s so hyped up he reaches across the table and gives me a high five. I jerk away from him.
“Absolutely not,” I say, wiping my hand on my skirt with a grimace. “You don’t get a high five for that.”
His face falls. “Why not?”
“Because it was extraordinary but you rushed us through it! You almost pulled my arm out of the socket dragging me to the next harebrained thing on the itinerary—a damn helicopter ride, no less—when we had entire hour to ourselves in that amazing exhibit.”
Cooper lets out a sigh, shoulders curling as he deflates. “I know. I was just trying to create this really amazing day for you. Us. I wanted it to be special. Start this redemption tour with a bang so you didn’t regret agreeing to this.”
