Page 78 of Well, Actually
“I’ve felt really frustrated with you lately,” she mumbles, gaze still on the ground.
I flinch. “You have?”
She finally looks at me, eyes slitted in annoyance. “You’ve been making me look pretty bad at work. William’s been furious since that stupid mean-comments video, and I’ve been on damage control trying to deflect and save both our jobs. He wanted to fire you after your show of attitude and then you going MIA on any Rylie Cooper stuff after that hasn’t made this any easier. It’s exhausting.”
“It wasn’t a show of attitude, Aida,” I say, indignation flaring. “That whole thing crossed so many lines and he knows it. The guy is a prick.”
“I know,” Aida says, shoulders slumping. “But he’s the prick that now signs our paychecks.”
“I just don’t think I was the bad guy in how I reacted.”
“You weren’t!” A few heads turn at the earnest rise in her voice, and she clears her throat, tilting her head toward me. “You weren’t. You were one hundred percent justified in being upset, and I felt awful being your segment producer and letting that happen, and I’m sorry. But I also didn’t love not hearing anything from you afterward and being left to fix things on my own… Especially when I don’t know what’s actually going on with the whole Rylie thing.” Her expression is bare-boned, flooding my system with guilt. “You’re my best friend, Eva. I’m trying to defend you and protect you, but it’s hard to do when you don’t let me in enough to know what’s happening.”
I look down, nose and eyes stinging with the sudden urge to cry. Jesus, when did I get so damn emotional?
Aida squeezes my hand, ducking her head to meet my gaze. “I miss you, dickhead. I just want you to text me back.”
“Ditto,” Ray says, but there’s a gentle curve to his mouth. “I hate finding out news about you from social media. I prefer the details firsthand and with as much graphic detail as possible.”
Aida and I both giggle, and I have to tilt my head back, blinking carefully so no tears fall and smear my makeup. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I… My life has been kind of messy lately.”
“No shit.”
I frown at Aida. “That’s kind of the whole thing, though. It’s always felt messy. I’m either in a failing relationship or dealing with roommate drama or complaining about my stupid-ass job. It’s… I don’t know. Embarrassing, I guess. I feel like you two have blossomed and I’m a weed that needs pulling. You have plans and goals and you’re actively achieving them while I eat hot dogs for a living while bitching about wanting to be taken seriously.”
“Babe.” Ray grips my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. “I hate to ruin your pity party, but none of what you just said is special.” He delivers the line so gently, I laugh. “Seriously, though. Feeling useless and directionless and like you aren’t keeping up is kind of the entire point of your twenties. Everything is ass all the time and all we can do is lean on each other through it, not compare ourselves moment to moment.”
“That was very live, love, laugh of you,” I say through a thick throat. Ray smiles.
“None of us have shit figured out,” Aida says, rubbing a soothing circle along my back. “And that’s okay. But don’t cut us out and make it all that much harder.”
“I didn’t pull away intentionally,” I say, looking between them. “Things got… complicated with Rylie and I know that affects your work, Aida, and William was hounding me and it ultimately felt easier to kind of shut down than have to tap-dance my way through the details of everything.”
“Don’t get me started on fucking William,” Aida groans, rolling her eyes. “That man is going to give me an ulcer. He’s so obsessed it’s unhinged.”
“Whyis he so obsessed, though? He must have other things to worry about.”
Aida gives me a gently patronizing glance. “I think youunderestimate just how much traffic and money this whole stunt has brought in. Our views spike every time something new about you two comes out; the ad revenue has it on track to be one of our best quarters yet. He’s stepping into power at a time when he’ll greatly profit off the attention you two generate and it’ll make him look like some sort of corporate god. Only something with more earning potential could distract him at this point.”
My stomach twists, bile running up my throat. “I can’t keep doing it. Things with Rylie… It doesn’t feel good or right to keep up the whole bit.”
“Yeah, okay, sorry, but I’m assuming you two are fucking now, right?” Ray, so delicately, asks. Aida pinches him and he gives her a disbelieving look. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I offend your delicate constitution? How would you suggest I get to the heart of the matter?”
“With a bit more tact, perhaps?” Aida snaps back. There’s a pause, and they both slant me a questioning glance.
My cheeks heat, a smile tugging at my lips as I try to be cool. “Um. Well. While we are, in fact—” I wave my hand.
“Fucking,” Ray supplies.
I snort. “Yeah. That. But we’re also kind of, um, dating?” The last word comes out as such a high-pitched squeak it’d be a miracle if anyone besides dogs can hear it.
“You’re what?”Aida shrieks, her stunned expression matching Ray’s. “It’s like, legitimately a thing?”
“Good god, are we fifteen?”
“Answer the question.”
“Yes. We’re legitimately athing,” I say with a scowl. “Andthat’s why I’ve been avoiding Soundbites stuff so hard. If we were just hooking up it would be different but I… I really like him. And I want to see what that’s like without other people getting a front-row seat.”
