Page 119 of Summer Breakdown
Frankie doesn’t allow herself to believe it, because she won’t survive it.
“I don’t even know what I said,” she whispers. “I can’t think about it.”
“You’re not allowed to be scared she’ll never love you when you’re doing everything you can to make sure she doesn’t try.”
Frankie takes in a deep breath. Ezra doesn’t beat around the bush, which is probably the only reason he’s still here. Ezra holds the pills in his palm like he’s using exposure therapy so she doesn’t have another breakdown. She hates how scary it must have been for him. He wouldn’t have called anyone to help him.
“Frank, she adores you. It’s so obvious.”
Frankie shakes her head again. It’s not true.
“She has called me every day for the past two weeks asking if you’re okay. She wants to know how you are even though you broke up with her. This is the first episode you’ve had around her, and she doesn’t know what to do. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to. She’s trying so hard.”
“It’s too much to ask of someone,” she whispers.
“You can’t keep pushing her away until, one day, she leaves. That’s not a gotcha moment. It’s unkind.”
“Can you just—“
“No,” Ezra says. “You are going to lose her, and you won’t survive it, Frank. Please. You deserve to be happy. You deserve someone that loves you. Talk to her, man. That’s all she wants you to do. Explain to her what you’re thinking, even if it makes no sense.”
Frankie groans.
Ezra smirks. “No comeback?”
She flinches. “I’m sorry for what I must have said.”
“You being a knob when you’re on the defence is not something that shocks me,” Ezra replies, but it’s too late. She hurt him. She hurts everyone, even when they love her at her worst. She cries again, and he comforts her, and she is surrounded by people she’ll never deserve.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll forgive you if you take the pills,” he says, then kisses her on the forehead. “Please.”
She sighs and takes one out of his hand.
“It might not fix it all right away,” he says.
“I know,” she replies. But it will fix it. That’s the point. God, why did she let them change them anyway? “Tell me something.”
Ezra hums. “Something about what?”
“I don’t know. Jasmine says it.”
“Have you missed her? Even without the pills?”
Frankie rubs at her face. “So much. I’m not sure how I made it through. It’s terrifying how much her presence affects my mood. I don’t want to be dependent on her. I don’t want that for her.”
“You’re allowed to be happy that someone exists and wants to spend their life with you.”
“She did,” Frankie whispers. “Want to spend her life with me.”
“I know. She talks about you all the time.”
She rests her head against his shoulder. “You know something?”
“What’s that?”
“I think Cam is your soulmate too. You’re definitely hers.” Frankie used to be upset that Cam was her best friend and Ezra stole her, but they make each other better. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for either of them.
